Past Tense, Future Imperfect
by Jaded
Summary: After a difficult break-up with Jackie, Hyde leaves for Madison, but while he leaves Point Place there are still some things--and some people-- he can't just leave behind.
1. Prologue: Fight Test

Past Tense, Future Imperfect 

**by Jaded (opheliadrowning@hotmail.com)**

Summary:  After high school graduation and a difficult break-up with Jackie, Hyde finally leaves Point Place in order to move on with his life, and only he knows where he is, and where he's going.

A/N: All lyrics in the prologue are from "Fight Test" by The Flaming Lips.  This story will be written in two points-of-view.  It'll start with Hyde in first person, and alternate with a more omniscient point-of-view every other chapter.

Disclaimer:  That '70s Show is not mine, nor are its characters.  Although some day I hope to possess Danny Masterson in mind, body, and soul.  Or just body, because I'm really not _that _picky.

Prologue: Fight Test 

_"I thought I was smart,_

_I thought I was right,_

_I thought it better not to fight,_

_I thought it was a virtue in always being cool."_

Sometimes a man's just gotta do what's right for his own life, and hell, it's taken me eighteen years, but I think I'm just starting to get the idea, just the tiniest inkling of what's "right" and what's "wrong" for me.  The first thing, the first "wrong" on the list has gotta be Point Place.

            I've been suffocating for my whole life, and I never even knew it until I packed up and left and tasted fresh air.  Everything is tied up in Point Place.  I was born there, I was abandoned there, and I would have probably died there if I hadn't royally fucked up and . . . 

            But that chapter of my life is closed.  It's done and gone, like so many other things in my life.  But like so many of those other things, I can do without them.  It's all about the Zen, man.  If I've made it this far with it, who knows where else it'll take me?

_"So it came time to fight,_

_I thought, 'I'll just step aside,'_

_And that time would prove you wrong,_

_And that you would be the fool."_

            Back in Point Place I told Jackie I loved her.  I can't believe I did that, not even when I did it, not even now.  I told her I loved her and still, she kicked me to the curb. Kelso cheated on her how many times?  Yet every time she ended up forgiving his dumb ass.  But when I _almost_—almost cheated—I was no better than yesterday's garbage.  Maybe it's a Hyde family trait, the one thing that Bud and Edna ever gave to me that stuck around.

How typical.

I should have seen it coming, you know?  I should have seen it coming long before any of this other crap had the chance to happen.  Hell, I should have seen it before Jackie yelled, "Get off my boyfriend!" to Annette, or even before I kissed her for that first time.  It's not like me to miss out on stuff like this.  It's old hat, and I should have been able to see it coming from a mile away.

But I didn't, because Jackie blindsides me.

"I don't know where the sunbeams end 

_And starlight begins,_

_It's all a mystery."_

            She blindsides me and, I dunno, when she was around . . . after a while . . . when I got used to having her around all the time, she started to become the only thing I could see, the only thing in my life that made any sort of _sense,_ (although logically, it still didn't, I mean, me and Jackie Burkhart?  c'mon), but sense in the way that way you can't put into words because it's in your guts.  When she came around I'd feel my stomach bottom out in that good kind of way, like butterflies in your stomach.  Wait, more like moths, 'cause you know, I'm not really a butterfly kind of guy, just so you know.

            When we were together, just her and me, nothing else seemed to matter, not the government conspiracies or the agendas of corporate thugs.  Nothing could touch us then.  It'd just be her.  And me.

_"Oh to fight is to defend,_

_If it's not now then tell me when_

_Would be the time_

_That you would stand up and be a man."_

            She forgave Kelso a million times.  And each and every time I was there, every time he broke her heart.  Then she'd just come running to me, throwing her little arms around my neck and sobbing into my shoulder.  Then in the end she'd just go back to him like, well I dunno, it still doesn't make sense to me why she'd go back.

            But with me?  Did she think that somehow I as different?  Or the same?  Or, maybe that I wasn't even _as good _as Kelso?  Kelso, man?!  Or was it . . . was it maybe because she thought I was bet . . .

            No, that can't be it.  Because that doesn't happen.  It doesn't _make sense._

"For to lose I could accept 

_But to surrender I just wept_

_And regretted this moment,_

_Oh that I,_

_I was the fool."_

            No, that's enough of this pansy-ass moping around.  Who do I think I am?  Forman?  Hardly!  I said I was going to move on, and move on I am going to do.  _This?_  This isn't moving on, this obsessing and thinking, and trying to figure it out stuff.  Me and Jackie are over, and there's nothing more to that.

"Cause I'm a man, not a boy, And there are things you can't avoid, You have to face them When you're not prepared to face them."             But I love her . . .loved her.  And now?  Well, she's probably back to hating me, like old times.  Not that she doesn't have every right to, because hell, I even kinda hate myself.  What else can I say?  We are past tense.  We're back to what we were like before all of this crazy stuff happened between us, when she hated me and I hated her and there was never even the idea of an "us."  

            The way things should be.

_"I don't know where the sunbeams end,_

_And starlight begins,_

_It's all a mystery._

_And I don't know how a man decides _

_What's right for his own life_

_It's all a mystery."_

            I've learned at least one thing through all of this.  When over and over and over again, the people you love, the people who are supposed to love _you, _keep abandoning you, keep throwing you away, it's time to grow a brain and get the jump on them.  You have to leave them before they have the chance to leave you.  You have to break the cycle.

            And that's just what I did.


	2. Graduation Day

Past Tense, Future Imperfect 

**_by Jaded_**

****

Disclaimers:  Same as the prologue.  Not mine, wish it were mine, still not mine, oh well.  Don't sue.

A/N: This chapter's in omniscient point-of-view, so I'm going to be jumping into everybody's head.   Hope you can keep up!

Chapter One: Graduation Day 

            They seemed to be two people destined for bad luck in love.  There was Jackie, who would have difficulty finding a man who could love her _and_ trust her at the same time, and who wouldn't cheat; wouldn't break her heart.  Then there Hyde, who rarely opened himself up to even the tiniest sliver of vulnerability or to the slightest possibility of love, but who, when he did, often came out of it badly burned, only then to shut down even further, slip deeper into Zen.  

            Everything about them could have spelled fairy tale—the princess and the orphan boy—but even Jackie had given up on that idea eventually.  Here, in their reality, their story, the end was not the last bit of the story, and here, forever did not mean _for always._  

*~*~*~*~*

            Kitty bustled around the kitchen, humming to herself, moving pots and pans from cupboard to  counter to sink, and filling up plates with pounds of good food for growing boys and girls.  She hadn't cooked like this since Red's mother had kicked the bucket, (may she rest in peace), and anyway, today's preparation was meant for a happy occasion.  Today, her boys were finally going to graduate from high school.

            Kitty stirred a bowl of macaroni salad, lost in thought.  She was so proud of them.  Her baby boy was all grown-up now, and Steven, despite his broken home, had made it through and done good.  It made her, well, right now the thought made her want to drink heavily and go to bed, but that was probably just the menopause talking.

            At quarter to eight, another tray of brownies baking away in the oven, Eric Forman emerged, walked into the kitchen, and yawned good morning to his mother.  His hair was an unruly mess—Kitty wanted very badly to sit him down and comb his hair—and his eyes were still half-closed with sleep, but he looked bright and happy, a dreamy grin playing on his face.

            "Oh, is that fluffy fruit salad?" he asked, dipping his finger into a bowl orange dreamsicle delite fruit salad, licking the marshmallow fluff from his fingers.  Kitty slapped his hand away, and Eric darted around her, giving her a kiss on a cheek.

            "Hands off!"  she laughed. "That's for the party later, silly!"

            "Mom, today I am finally free from the shackles of the public education system.  Today, I am finally a man."

            Kitty laughed again and forced him into his seat at the breakfast table.  She served him a plateful of eggs, bacon, waffles with fresh Wisconsin maple syrup, and a giant glass of orange juice.  "Oh, honey, you're not a man yet!"

            "Mom!"

            "You're my big boy and I am so very proud of you!"  She kissed him on top of the head.  He squirmed, but not really trying to get away.  

            Eric was thrilled.  Today, finally, he was going to graduate from Point Place High School.  High school had felt like forever to him.  Four years had felt more like five or six, his sophomore and junior years dragging on for some strange reason. . .  Today was the day though.  He would be walking across that stage with Hyde, Kelso, and Fez, with Donna and Jackie and his family watching from the seats.  

            Next year he would truly be moving on with his life.  He and Donna were going to head to the University of Wisconsin, still engaged, still in love, and away from Red's disapproving eye.  It was totally going to be awesome.  He knew it.  Madison was at least three times bigger than Point Place, and during the college visit he had scoped out some pretty awesome music venues and bars.  Eric couldn't wait.

            "Hey, where's Dad this morning?"

            Kitty handed Eric a plate of buttered toast, which he took and placed next to a tall glass of milk which had materialized from seemingly, nowhere.  

            "Oh, your father went to the bank early this morning, he should be back soon."  Kitty bustled a little more, then finally sat down across from her son.  "Where's Steven this morning?"

            "Hyde?" Eric said, "probably still sleeping.  You know how he doesn't like waking up before Saturday morning cartoons are over, unless they're showing new ones.  He should be up before noon."

            "Well, I just hope he gets up soon.  He needs his breakfast.  A strapping young man like him needs to be properly nourished!"

            "Mom!  Why do I have to be your little boy still, but Hyde get to be a man?"

            Kitty laughed.  "Oh, Eric, honey.  Here, have some strawberry jam."

            Eric took the jar from her and sulked quietly to himself over his eggs. 

*~*~*~*~*

            "I cannot believe I am finally going to be an American graduate."  Fez beamed proudly, gazing up at the perfect Saturday afternoon sun that beamed down on the Point Place High Vikings football field.  Green and white flags on the bleachers waved in the brisk June wind.  "God bless America!"

            Kelso finished off his popsicle and threw the stick on the grass.  "You know what that means, Fez."

            "What does it mean, Kelso?"

            "It means that now all the high school chicks are totally going to want you—well, after I'm done with them, of course—because they dig a man with a degree.  That, and now you can vote!"

            "I can?"  Fez's eyes glazed over with the glorious light of suffrage.  He raised his fist high in the air.  "I can now strike back at the white man's imperialistic foreign policy against my country!  My vote will make a difference!  This will teach those dirty politicians never to mess with my people.  The people of . . ."

            "Fez, graduating high school doesn't mean you get to vote."  Hyde came up from behind them, fussing with the polyester green graduation robes that had been handed out to them during the last week of school by the preppy overachievers in student council.  "Why are you listening to Kelso?  He can hardly tie his shoes, I mean, look at them, they're already untied."

            Kelso looked down at his lace-less black loafers.  "What?"  Hyde smacked him on the head and laughed.  Fez joined in.

            "Good one, my curly-headed friend."

            "Thanks, man."

            Kelso glared at both of them, but for once held his tongue.  Things between Kelso and Hyde hadn't been smooth sailing for the last few months of high school, although they tried to at least put up a show that things weren't as bad as they really were.  Even after all this time, it still came down to Jackie, and neither wanted to lose to the other, and more importantly, to both she still meant so much, practically everything, although she was with neither of them now.  

            There was a pregnant pause where no one said anything and Fez looked from Kelso to Hyde, to Kelso to Hyde.  Finally, Hyde coughed.  He motioned his head towards the stage.  "I think we're supposed to start lining up for the ceremony."

            The three of them headed off, where half-way across the field they were intercepted by Eric and Donna.  Donna ran up to all of them first, smiling brightly.  Her graduation at Her Lady of Perpetual Sorrow had been held the day before, and today she was there for support.  

            "This is so exciting, you guys! I can't believe we've all finally graduated!"

            "All of us except Jackie," Kelso interjected.

            Donna's eyes immediately went to Hyde's face, her face a mix of concern and pity with the unmistakable tinge of judgment, which despite all her good intentions, Donna could not hide, not even today.  He looked away and said nothing.

            "Where is Jackie, anyway?" Eric said, readjusting his one honor club pin on his lapel. He looked up.  "Not that I care or anything, but," Donna glared at him, "she's a part of the gang now?  And things wouldn't be the same without her?"   

            Donna looked past his shoulder, ignoring him.  "She said she was going to be here.  I'm sure she'll be here in a few minutes though, you know Jackie—"

            "She likes to arrive fashionably late," Hyde muttered without thinking.

            They all turned to look at him.  He shrugged, although in his mind he was mentally kicking himself.  They had broken up six weeks ago, but there she was still, always in his head, doing a rambling running commentary in the way  only she could do, and God help him, he had absorbed enough of it that sometimes it just came leaking out.

            Another awkward silence passed until Kitty came running up to them all, snapping photos with every other step.

            "Aren't you kids just so adorable!  C'mon, all of you, together for a group picture."

            Red appeared behind her.  "Kitty, leave them alone.  The principal is calling them to line up."

            "Red, just a minute!  If I don't capture this moment then it will be lost to time forever, and then what?  They'll grow old and one day will realize that they never had a group picture at their graduation with their best friends and what will happen then?  They'll start drinking and crying, all alone, with no pictures to remind them of the good times!"

            "Oh fine!  Just take the picture and hurry it up.  They just might not let the dumbasses graduate if you keep them too long."

            "Thanks for the encouraging words, Dad," Eric said, pretending to wipe away a tear.  "I'll never forget your words of wisdom on this most special of special days."

            "What did I tell you about being a smart ass?"

            "That smart asses go to Hell when they die?"

            "You got that right, mister.  Now get up on stage.  All of you.  March!"

            Kitty snapped a picture quickly and then shooed the kids off.  Red put his arms around her shoulders.  Kitty sniffled, a little overwhelmed.

            "They're all leaving us," she said sadly, her chest heaving with a sigh.

            "Finally.  I thought those damned kids were going to live in our basement forever."  Kitty looked up, appalled, but Red smiled, and they went to take their seats.

*~*~*~*~*

            The ceremony went by smoothly for the most part.  The speeches by the principal, the class president, and the valedictorian were sufficiently inspirational although boring, and the band was mostly in tune when they played "Pomp and Circumstance" for the procession.  The only "infraction" was when Timmy tried to strip off his robes and streak across the stage.  He was stopped by Vice Principal Sinclair, who for a former Miss Wisconsin Dairy Princess, had a tackle that the Green Bay Packers would have killed for.

            Most of the students milled around after the ceremony was over, many of them reluctant to leave the place that had been home to so many of their memories, good and bad, although even more reluctant to admit that they'd miss Point Place High.  The gang hung around for a few extra minutes, talking to one another, making plans for the rest of the day, the rest of the summer.

            Jackie had eventually shown up, fashionably late, of course.  She had sat with the Formans and Fez's host parents (but putting a coat on the seat between her and Fez's host mom who kept whispering something about 'the dark lord,' and 'sinful clothing' as she feverishly ran her hands over a rosary, occasionally glancing at Jackie's white sun dress, the one dotted with little pink rosebuds).

            "Fez, Eric," she beamed, "congratulations!"

            "Why thank you, Jackie," Fez said.  "Does Fez get a kiss for all his good work?"  He bent his knees and offered up the side of his face.

            Jackie gave him a severe look, but then broke out into a smile.  "Why not?"  Even with her high heeled black boots, she had to get up on her toes to kiss his cheek.  She laughed.

            "Um, I think I'll pass on that," Eric said, pulling Donna to his hip, "but thanks for coming, Jackie."

            "Hey!" Kelso said, "don't I get a kiss too, Jackie?"

            She put her hands on her hips.  "Yeah, I don't think so, Michael."

            "Aww, man!"

            "Can it, Kelso!" Fez said.  "Can't you see the lady does not want your loving now that she has had a taste of Fez?"

            "All of you," Red barked, "can it."

            Kelso pouted some more, but said nothing.  

            All this time, Hyde hung around in the background, not saying anything, but thinking to himself.  Jackie kept shooting him looks, but every time it looked like she was going to say something to him, she only bit her lip and turned to make a comment to Donna.

            She still hung out with the gang in Forman's basement, although now she made more time with her cheerleader friends than previously.  But it was occasionally awkward, usually uncomfortable, and often tense.  The way things had ended between her and Hyde had not been pretty because unlike traditional break-ups it hadn't ended with them yelling, "I hate you!" at one another.  It had ended with him saying that he loved her, and with both of them nursing broken hearts.  

            Jackie tried to stand by her decision.  She had been the one to break it off.  "It was the right and mature thing to do," she had explained to Donna, who had listened quietly and patiently.  He hadn't trusted her.  He had told her that he didn't trust anybody, not the government, not friends, not family.  "What about me though?" she had asked, and he had replied, flip and Zen, "It's nothing personal, Jackie."

            But it was personal, and after Kelso's last attempt to break them up, which had led to their fight about trust, things between them had been so fragile and tenuous that Jackie had decided to stop it before they went any further in the relationship, before they had a chance to reach some point of no return.

            It was hard though.  Every day it was hard, and seeing him still made her all sorts of achy.  Seeing him and not touching him, not kissing him, made her want to run outside and scream in frustration.  It made her want to tear her own hair out, and when she felt like that, it meant things were seriously bad in Jackie-Land.

            They had to say something to each other though.  To ignore one another was stupid, and it was best, both reasoned privately to themselves, to get it done and over with.

            "Steven—"

            "Jackie—"

            "You first."

            "No.  You first.  Ladies first."

            Jackie braced herself and balled up all her courage.

            "I just wanted to tell you," her voice hitched a little bit, "that I'm very proud of you, and that I know you'll do great things from now on.  I always knew you could, you always had the potential and. . . "

            He cleared his throat, interrupted her rambling, his voice thick with emotion that he fought to push back.  "Thanks, Jackie."  Then, as though it were the most natural thing in the world, like second nature, his hands went up to touch her face like they always did when he was about to kiss her, pull her close to him where she could feel his warmth, hear his heart.

            She pulled away, blushing.

            "Well—"

            "Well."

            "I'll . . . I'll see you later?"

            Hyde had taken his glasses off after the ceremony.  The sun had drifted into a patch of cottony clouds , and now it was too dark for him to see with them on.  He blinked, looking at her, something in his face shadowing over, his blue eyes overcast like the sky.

            "Whatever," he shrugged.  "Maybe I'll see you around."

            Jackie nodded mutely.  Turning away from him, she left quickly, not wanting him to see her cry.

*~*~*~*~*

            "Steven."

            Hyde looked away from Jackie's retreating form and saw Red coming towards him.  Red's tie hung loosely around his neck, and he had his gray jacket thrown over his left shoulder.

            "Hey, Red.  What's up?"

            Discarded graduation programs littered the ground, leaving the field a disaster zone of festivities.  A few conscientious students tried to pick up some of the junk, but eventually gave up.  The crowds of students and parents were finally letting out, people climbing into their gas guzzling cars to head home and get punch-drunk and silly on beer and wine coolers.  The gang was still around though, hanging out by their cards.  

Red shuffled his feet, then looked Hyde square in the eye.  "I just wanted to say, son, that, well, I'm proud of you.  You've really made something of yourself, and that with all the crap that you've had to go through, well, I just wanted to say that you've grown up into a fine young man, and I'm glad that I've been able to be part of your life."

Taken aback—Red was hardly one to show any emotion beyond "yelling,"—Hyde just stood silently and motionless for a moment.  Finally, he found his voice.  "Thanks, Red.  It really means a lot to me.  You and Mrs. Forman have been both really great.  I'd probably be in jail right now if you guys hadn't been so nice to me."

"Yeah, that's probably true."  Red cracked a smile and they both laughed.

"So yeah, again, thanks."  Then, awkwardly at first, Hyde reached out his arms to give Red a hug.  Red patted him on the back initially, but then they both relaxed and it became like a real hug.  A manly hug, naturally, but a real, natural hug.  Like how a father should be hugging a son on his graduation day.

"Anyway," Red said when the hug was done, pulling something out of the pocket of his jacket.  "I got something for you."  He handed Hyde a white envelope.

Hyde turned it over in his hands and looked up at Red, unsure what to think.

"You're not serving me a subpoena, are you?"

"Don't be a smart ass.  Just open it."

On orders, Hyde tore it open and pulled out a check.  He held it up, squinted, then looked at Red, incredulity spread over his face.

"Red," he sputtered.  "Mr. Forman, I can't—"

Red held up a hand to make him shut up. "I told you once that I had been saving up the money you've been giving us for rent for bail or college.  Well, now that you've made it successfully through high school without having to get bailed out, I thought it was about time I gave it back to you."

"I can't take this."

"It's rightfully yours, Steven.  Now don't be a dumbass and try to act noble. You're a smart kid, and I expect you to be smart about this money.  I'd prefer you use this to pay for college, but that's just my suggestion.  Of course, whether not I'm going to stick my foot up your ass if you do something idiotic with it, that's another story."

Hyde laughed, then slowly folded the check and put it in his pocket.  "Thank you, Red.  Again, thank you.  For everything."

"Eh, It's nothing.  Now get in your car and head back to the house before Mrs. Forman goes crazy waiting for this party to start, and before I go crazy having to listen to her."

Red headed off, and Hyde stood for a moment, watching.  What a day today had been, he thought.  And here, he had never even thought about graduating.

He began to make his way to his el Camino, glancing back occasionally at the Formans, his friends, and at Jackie.  His heart full, but heavy, he climbed in behind the wheel and headed back to the house.

*~*~*~*~*

"Eric!" Kitty trilled, shuffling by Bob and Joanne with a tray of pizza rolls, "where's Steven?  Get him upstairs.  He's going to miss the whole party!"

"Great party, Kitty," Bob said, swirling in his meaty hand a brandy old-fashioned with a cherry.  

Kitty laughed. "Thank you, Bob.  I'm glad somebody appreciates all the hard work and love I put into this."  Turning, she spotted Eric.  "Eric, did you hear me?  Can you pleas go find Steven?"

"Sure," Eric shot back.  He turned to Donna who gave him a quick kiss. 

"Basement?"     

"Where else?"

They climbed down the stairs.  "Oh Steven," Eric said in a falsetto.  "Oh, Steven!"

Donna looked at her fiancee.  "I don't know whether or not to be bothered by how well you can do that."

Not seeing Hyde in front of the TV in his chair, Eric made a beeline for Hyde's room.  Donna, sidetracked, went to get a popsicle out of the freezer.  She peeled it open—cherry flavored—and went to sit down to wait for Eric and Hyde to come out.

Then, from the other room she heard Eric exclaim, "Oh shit!"

Worried, she ran into the room, popsicle still in hand.  His back was to her when she entered, his head down, his focus somewhere else.  "What's wrong, Eric?  Are you okay?"  

He turned around after fifteen seconds, a shocked expression on his face.  In one hand he clutched a white sheet of paper.  Wordlessly, he handed it to her.  She scanned it quickly, her face taking on a similar expression to his as she reached the end of the note.

"He's . . . gone?" she said, her voice small and disbelieving.

Then they both looked around.  The room was empty of anything that would have signaled his existence.  Even his High Street sign was gone. There was no sign of Hyde, and simply, no Hyde.

A high, familiar voice shook Eric and Donna out of their shock.

"Hey," Jackie said, entering the room, "what's going on?  Eric, your mom . . ." but her voice faltered when she saw them, saw their expressions and the empty room.  Seeing the letter in Donna's hand, she tore at it, grabbing it up in her small hands to read.  When she finished, she felt her stomach bottom out and her heart sink into her chest.  She had to sit down on the cot where Hyde no longer slept, she felt so dizzy.  It was only a matter of seconds before she was joined by Eric and Donna.

TO BE CONTINUED….

In later installments:  more details on how and why Jackie and Hyde broke up, and well, whatever other questions you might have.  Please r/r!  I'll love you for it!


	3. Driftwood

Past Tense, Future Imperfect 

**by Jaded (opheliadrowning@hotmail.com)**

Summary:  Hyde's POV interlude.  He's moved on to life in Madison, but can't stop reflecting on the past, and the ups, downs, and mistakes that have littered that way.

A/N: Every other chapter will be Hyde's POV and have a song accompaniment.  This time, it's _Driftwood_, by Travis. 

Disclaimer: That 70s Show, that brilliant half-hour of comedy gold, does not belong to me.  Nor do the Travis lyrics, but I will play with them for now and hope no one decides to sue my ass.

*This chapter is dedicated to annies at Fan Forum.  Hope this helps to cheer you up!

****

Part 3: Driftwood 

"Everything is open, 

_Nothing is set in stone,_

_Rivers turn to oceans,_

Oceans tide you home." 

            Madison is home now.  It's been what, only a month?  And Point Place is little more than a distant memory.  Except I guess I do feel kinda bad about not telling Mr. and Mrs. Forman why I left or where I left for.  I've been meaning to write or call, but Mrs. Forman has this scary way of getting me to. . . tell the truth.  It's un-nerving, man!  I don't want her telling everyone where I am, or worse, I don't want her trying to get me to go back .  I can't do that.  I don't want that.

            Not that I think people care where I am or anything.  I mean, whatever.  They all have their own lives, their own dreams to live out.  Now, they just have one less spectator.

_"Home is where the heart is,_

_But your heart had to roam,_

_Drifting over bridges,_

_Never to return,_

_Watching bridges burn."_

            Madison is totally cool.  I know college is just part of the system, a way to keep free-thinkers like myself down by trying to make us conform to some out-dated notion of achievement through formalized education meant to "supposedly" improve our lives.  But hell, the atmosphere is awesome.  Screw school.  

            There's this student union here right off one of the two lakes that cusp the isthmus where the campus of the University of Wisconsin is located.  There's live music there every weekend, and they sell beer, _beer! _ there.  My kind of place.  There's tons of hot chicks around too, and these are just the townies.  The college co-eds don't start spilling in again until late August.

            Not that I'm looking or anything, you know, but it's not as though I would be opposed to a little action.  A growing boy needs his Tang.  But I'm not going to actively put myself out there.  No more of that relationship crap for me, 'cause where'd that leave me?  Yeah, exactly.  My philosophy now is love 'em and leave 'em.  You stick with one person, you're gonna get burned, and they're only going to hold you back like some 95lb. cheer-leading anchor.  To think, if Jackie and I hadn't broken up I probably would've stayed in Point Place forever with her.

            Hell, Madison's not a huge city, but it's tons bigger than Point Place, and from here, who knows where I may go.  Maybe one day, New York, then the rest of the world.  And you see, all this would not be possible if I was still with Jackie.  She's the settling-down type.  She'd want a house, a family, kids, a lawn that I'd be damned before I'd make the effort to mow it.  Conformist American notions about happiness:  That's her dream.  And she'd probably be all, "Steven!" this, and "Steven!" that.  Man, what a living hell that'd be.  Without her now though, I'm a total free-spirit.

            Not to say that Jackie and I didn't have good times.  Hell, we had great times, actually.  Some of the best of my life.  I didn't even mind listening to her chatter away like a little monkey, talking about her hair, about Donny Osmond, about what she wanted me to buy for her.  Nope, didn't mind at all.

            And kissing her?  Man.  What can I say about that?   Maybe it was all those years of the built-up hatred we had between us, that when we finally got together all that energy just got generated into heat.  When we decided that hell, fooling around wasn't such a bad idea all that tension just gelled into this crazy sexual energy.  That girl always knows how to make me crazy and stupid all at once.  Oh crap.  I mean _made._  Crap.

_"You're driftwood floating underwater,_

_Breaking into pieces, pieces, pieces,_

_Just driftwood, hollow and of no use,_

_Waterfalls will find you, bind you, grind you." _

            Just forget it.  That's all the past now.  I've broken apart from all those people, all those places.  It's a new Steven Hyde now.  I even got myself a job, one where I can't really sleep, but it's okay, 'cause I get to work with alcohol.  

            I bar tend at the _Rusty Penny_, this bar just off State Street, the main campus drag and student hangout.  It kind of sucks though.  You can't drive down State Street.  It's a "pedestrian only" road.  Whatever.  Now I gotta walk though, but I don't live so far away from work, so it's cool.  The _Penny _is pretty low-key, just the way I like it.  When Dave, my boss, hired me, he told me that the bar doesn't attract the annoying crowds of jocks, cheerleaders, frat-boys, or sorority girls.  A definite plus, although those sorority girls are fast and loose, and I don't mind that at all.

            I'm starting to wonder though…Dave says it doesn't attract those types…and since I've been working here, I'm starting to think, is this the kind of place that would attract Forman, Donna, Kelso, and Fez?  It reminds me of The Hub, except, you know, with more alcohol and drunken middle-aged men.  

_"Nobody is an island,_

_Everyone had to go,_

_Pillars turn to butter,_

_Butterflying low,_

_Low is where your heart is,_

_But your heart has to grow,_

_Drifting under bridges,_

_Never with the flow." _

            The UW is a big campus, so it's possible that I won't ever run into any of the gang ever, but I knew when I left for here that that was always going to be a possibility.  You know, it's strange enough that I'm even planning on gong to school here.  Stranger that they let me in.  Go figure.  However, while I do plan on going to class, I also plan on sleeping through most of them.  I guess I kind of wanted to prove people wrong about me, and at the same time totally throw them off.  Me in school.  That's the last thing anyone would expect of me.  And I guess if the Formans ever find out, I do want to kind of make them proud of me.  They did so much for me these last few years, I could at least try to show them I wasn't a total screw-up.

            Of course, it's not like I'm going to try that hard or anything.  That'd be messed-up.  Oh yeah, it's Food Sciences for me, and maybe one Poli-Sci course so, you know, I can keep an eye on the Feds and root out whatever their new, nefarious conspiracy is.

_"And you really didn't think it would happen,_

_But it really is the end of the line,_

_So I'm sorry that you've turned to driftwood,_

_But you've been drifting for a long, long time."_

            I guess I even surprise myself sometimes. Who would've thunk it?  Most people wrote me off a long time ago.  Example?  My parents.  They ditched my ass at the first available opportunity.  Edna once said, when she called me from wherever she and Bud were at the time, that she was kind of sorry to have left the way she did and when she did, but that she was tired of having to "take care of me" or being "responsible" for me.  

            "I had figured long ago that by that age you'd be in prison already, Steven," she had said.  "I just got tired of waiting.  I had to get on with my life."

            So fine.  No one's got to take care of me now except me.  I'm a loner and a drifter. I know that, and that's how I like it too.  You learn to manage.  You cope.  It's made the man I am today.  I've got nothing to tie me down or hold me back.

_"Everywhere there's trouble,_

_Nowhere's safe to go,_

_Pushes turn to shovels,_

_Shoveling the snow,_

_Frozen you have chosen,_

_The path you wish to go,_

_Drifting now forever,_

_And forever more,_

_Until you reach your shore." _

            Somehow, though, I can't shake this feeling that something bad is gonna come and bite me in the ass.  Maybe it's Karma getting me back.   I know, and I'll admit, I was a total bastard and totally screwed-over Jackie.  So I thought she and Kelso were messing around, because it's always been Jackie and Kelso, Kelso and Jackie.  And he'd seriously never shut-up about her, how it was "obvious" that she still loved him, and that I was just "the layover on the way to the airport of love."  And then there was the whole, "Get off my boyfriend!" fiasco, and when she accepted that sweater from him for her birthday.  I dunno, it was always in the back of my mind.  It was always a possibility.  

            So she told me she loved me a couple of times.  Big deal.  Jackie's always been about words.  That's why she never shuts up.  I remember how she used to tell Kelso she loved him when they were going-out, and then how she'd brow-beat him into saying it back.  Like everyday.  It was like a reassurance that she had him, but who knew if he meant it, especially when he kept messing around with Laurie or Pam Macy.  Asshole.  

            I'm not like Jackie though.  And I'm not like Kelso.  When and if I say something crazy like, "I love you," I'm gonna mean it.  It's not going to be half-assed or just said because it's expected, like saying "you're welcome" when someone says, "thank you."  If I'm going to say something like that, it's gonna be for real.

            And it was real, when I said it to her, but I guess "too little, too late."  That's fine, I deserved that.  I was mad though, didn't trust her about Kelso, so I made out with some random chick and Jackie found out about it.

            So I guess I'm an asshole too.  Eh, she's better off without me, and I'm better off without her.  Probably.  We were all going to go our separate ways eventually anyway.  This is how things would've turned out regardless, you know?  From there on out, though, who knows what's going to happen, but I'm cool with that.  I'm just going to go with the flow, and see where the Zen takes me.

_"And you really didn't think it would happen,_

_But it really is the end of the line,_

_So I'm sorry, that you turned to driftwood,_

_But you've been drifting for a long, long time,_

_You've been drifting for a long, long,_

_Drifting for a long, long time."_

[end part 3]


	4. No Holds Bar

Past Tense, Future Imperfect: Part 4 

by Jaded

Disclaimer: It all remains the same.  Not mine.  

Summary:  The gang, plus parents and Jackie, head up to Madison (where Hyde is working as a bartender), for UW student orientation.  There, the bar-scene is the place to be, and of course, things are bound to happen when you mix teenagers, college students, and alcohol.

A/N:  If feedback be the food of love, review on. It's a great motivater.

Part 4: No Holds Bar 

            In the early evenings before his shift, Hyde had taken to lingering by the door of _The Rusty Penny_, watching as the crowds of people streamed up and down the streets to grab some dinner or a drink, maybe catch a band playing at the Orpheum Theater.  

            "Looking for someone?"

            Hyde jumped a foot, almost falling off the bar's front step.

            "Shit, Dave, quit doing that to me!"

            Hyde's boss laughed, taking another sip of his scotch on the rocks. He raised the glass to Hyde's face.  "I'll quit doing that when you quit acting so moony.  What's up with you anyway?  Waiting for some girl or something?  Who was that chick you went out with last week?  What's her face--"

            "Rachel—look, Dave," he said quickly, changing the subject, "I'm not 'looking' for anyone, especially for any chick."  Hyde felt his voice hitch a little, cleared his throat, and finished, "I'm just being, you know, introspective."

            "Meaning of life stuff, you mean?"  Dave laughed.

            "Get bent, man!"

            "Is that any way to talk to your boss?  The man who signs your paychecks?"  Dave laughed again, took a deep drink of his scotch, and patted Hyde on the back.  "You know I'm just joking, Hyde.  You're a good kid.  And not too bad for business either."

Hyde shot him a curious look.

"Don't lie to me and tell me you haven't noticed those girls that come in here week after week lining up at the bar so they can order drinks from you.  You know, the lookers who like getting all those fru-fru drinks, like daiquiris and amaretto sours."  

Hyde shrugged.

"Yeah, yeah.  Modesty-cakes.  Now get in there and start serving up drinks."

"Gotcha, boss."

It turned out, a bit to Hyde's astonishment, that getting-on with his life wasn't as easy as he had originally thought.  Point Place was still on his mind.  And Jackie.  Jackie still, always on his brain.  A few weeks after he started The Rusty Penny, this cute girl, Miranda, had worked up the guts (after a few drinks) to ask him out, but his automatic response came out, "I would, but I've already got a girlfriend."  It had taken him another five minutes to realize what he had said, and by then it would have seemed really suspicious if he retracted his answer.  He cursed himself the rest of the night for being so stupid, but also for being such a moron.  Why hadn't this been his automatic reaction a few months ago before he started kissing that girl?  

Very few things made sense anymore.  Beer made sense.  You drank it, you got drunk.  Weed made sense.  You smoked it, you got stoned.  But girls?  Well they never made any sense before, but what had always made sense was his relationship towards them.  You dug a chick, she dug you, you did it.  Then once you did it, you went your separate ways, having gotten out of it exactly what you both wanted.  

Yet with Jackie he was a complete basket-case, internally at least.  They never did it when they were together, and yet they had stayed together for a long while.  And in turned out, much to Hyde's dismay, that it wasn't the sex that he wanted, not entirely or even for the most part, because, for that little while at least, he recognized now that it was the _not _going separate ways that he wanted, the part that made sense. 

And that he, Steven Hyde, was feeling and thinking that way, made no sense to him whatsoever.

*~*~*~*~*

            Student orientation had been going on campus for the last two weeks.  Kids, many of them sporting letter jackets, under the misguided notion that high school popularity and social status in a town with a population of 300 and represented through ugly outerwear translated into college-coolness, trailed behind their parents and UW tour-guides decked out in Wisconsin cardinal and white.  They milled around Madison, window-shopping on State Street or staring up at the buildings, some of them marveling as though they had never seen a building higher than three stories.  

            Despite himself, Hyde founding himself looking.  Looking for Eric, Donna, Fez, Kelso, looking so he could avoid them if he saw them.  Explaining, he found, was just going to be more effort than it was worth.  Why address something directly when you could put it off and avoid it until it completely disappeared?  It was a good enough theory as any for him.  He began to think about throwing around the phrase, "Procrastination across the nation!" see how it caught on.

            "Totally catchy," Dave told him, handing him a bucket so Hyde could get more ice from the ice machine in the basement.

            It was Thursday night, and Thursday night meant that the "Three Sirens" were going to be in, boozing it up.  Without fail, at 10:35 PM they showed up, dressed to the nines, hair, make-up, and nails immaculate with the air of a _Cosmo _photo shoot.  Hyde found it off-putting.  Sure, they were kind of hot, but a guy would have to chip through layer upon layer of foundation and hair-spray to get even close to doing something interesting.  And who knew what they looked like underneath all that gunk anyway?

            Linda, The Rusty Penny's lone cocktail waitress, had given the girls the nickname (she was studying English Lit and Greek Mythology at the UW).  It wasn't given because they were hot ("I don't swing that way personally, but if I did?  Ew!"), or because, like the mythic creatures of myth who lured sailors to their eternal doom with their siren song ("doom to their wallets, more like"), or that they attracted men like flies to honey ("or whores to free drinks").  No, Holly, Marie, and Kristen, the Three Sirens were called so because their voices sounded just like that.  Like sirens blaring warning for approaching tornadoes.  It was a high-pitched wail that pierced through pea-soup fogs, erupted eardrums and made them bleed.  And inexplicably, very few men could resist their charms or understand what these women were really after ("they give the sisterhood a bad name, you know?")

            What they appeared to be after, besides free drinks, was the new bartender at The Rusty Penny, one Steven Hyde of Point Place, Wisconsin.

            "Yeah, I totally don't get it," he said.

            Linda eyed the Three Sirens at their regular corner booth.  "It's like they're lions stalking a gazelle."  She shook her head.

            "Hey, who you calling a 'gazelle?'"

            Linda picked up her tray of drinks and smiled widely.  "I dunno.  You maybe, but then, I've never seen you dance, Hyde."  She walked away, laughing, and went to serve her drinks.

            "And you never will!" he shouted after her.

            "So wanna  take bets on which sucker picks up their tab tonight?"  Dave came around the bar and pointed at the Three Sirens.

            Hyde looked around and saw a skinny guy in a brown suit looking moonily at the Three Sirens.  That's what Forman's gonna look like in ten years, Hyde thought.

            "Him," he said immediately, pointing to the skinny guy.  "Especially if the redhead--"

            "Holly."

            "Especially if Holly asks.  I dunno, I just get this feeling that he's got a thing for the tall, flame-haired ladies."

*~*~*~*~*

            On account that she had no parents and all her close friends and parental figures were going to be out of town with their respective children, Jackie ended up tagging along with the gang to Madison when they headed up for their Freshman orientation weekend.

            Kelso and Fez rode with the Formans, so Jackie rode in the backseat of the Pinciotti car, with Bob driving and Donna in the passenger seat.  On their way up, Jackie gave her friend some helpful tips or two about hair care.

            "You know, Donna, splits ends say something about a woman.  They say on a woman what a mullet says on a man:  That you're a loser who has given up on life, and Donna, you're too young to give up on life!"

            "Uh, thanks, Jackie."

            "I'm just saying!"

            In the last few months, it seemed that the Jackie of old had returned and was back to her old ways.  Eric was not so secret about how _not-thrilled _he was at this turn in events.

            "It's like she's the devil again!  Reincarnated!"

            Kelso, on the other hand, was giddier than a sexy schoolgirl.  

            "Man!  It's like she's almost back to the old Jackie!  MY Jackie!  Oh man, we are SO gonna get back together soon and like, start doing-it ALL THE TIME again."

            "Please, Kelso," Eric said, "I'm eating."

            There were only two sure-fire ways to get Jackie to stop being Jackie.  The first way was to bound and gag her with rope and duct tape, then leave her in a locked room and hide the key (Donna vetoed this plan.  "You really want to do that, and involve Kelso AND Fez?" she had asked.)  The second way was to mention Hyde, but no one ever did, not intentionally at least.  It was a sore spot with all of them.

            "Are you sure you'll be okay staying at the hotel all by yourself, Jackie?" Donna asked when they began unloading their bags at the University Inn where Jackie had booked a single room.

            "Oh yeah.  Trust me, Donna.  Sleeping in a dorm room and using communal showers?  Not my idea of a good time."

            The UW wanted its new students to get a feel for living the college life, and somehow staying in a dorm room with your parents was supposed to give an impression of that experience.

            "I'm staying with you, Mom!" Eric shouted when they got to the dorm where they were staying.

            "No you're not, dumbass," Red said.

            Kitty laughed nevously.  "Oh, Eric honey, I'm going to be chaperoning Michael and Fez.  You have to share a room with your father."

            Red smiled maniacally.  "You better not be nude, buster.  Unless you want to--"

            "Wear my ass as a hat.  I know, Dad."  Eric looked down at the ground sadly.  "I'm going over to talk to Donna now," he mumbled.

            Eric got to Donna's side a few seconds before Kelso and Fez came running up excitedly.  

            "Oh man!" Kelso said, "Do you know what they call the dorm we're staying at?"

            "Elizabeth Waters Hall," Donna said.  She pointed.  "Like it says on the sign.  Over there.  In the big capital letters?"

            "No!  I heard some guys talking about it just a second ago, and they call it the Virgin Vault!"

            "It is an all girls dorm," Fez said dreamily.  "Oh my god!  There are no men living with them.  They must have to practice kissing each other EVERY NIGHT!"

            "Fez, please," Kelso said, "they've got to have pillow fights once in a while."

            Bob walked up and joined the conversation.  "You kids talkin' about the all-girls dorm?  That's where my Donna's gonna be staying."

            "What, Dad?!"

            "Score!" Kelso and Fez said together.

            "Yeah.  I was just talking to this tour guide and he said that Liz Waters is an all-girls dorm with extra security.  No boys allowed after 10pm, and there are some places guys can't even go without signing in with a resident first.  And that's just the low security section."

            The boys all stared, eyes wide in horror.  Donna swore loudly.

            "Hey, now, Donna," Bob said, shaking a finger. " That's no language for a good Catholic school girl."

*~*~*~*

            The Three Sirens were definitely giving him the eye.  Linda looked at Hyde, trying hard not to laugh.

            "Brace yourself," she said with the side of her mouth.  "One's heading up here, three o'clock."

            Hyde groaned.  Which one was this one?  The tall brunette?  Was it Kristen?  Or was it Marie?

            "Hey Hyde," she cooed, leaning up to the bar.  She batted her eyelashes at him.  

            "Hey."  He picked up a glass and dried it with a rag.

            She leaned over the bar and touched his face.  "Sexy beard."

            In the last month or two Hyde had taken to re-growing his beard.  It was full and scruffy now, like it had been last summer.  A way of reclaiming his identity, he had said snarkily when Dave had asked him if he wasn't getting enough tips at work to afford a razor.

            "Thanks babe."  She giggled. 

            He looked at her.  For all intents and purposes, she should've been hot to him.  This was the kind of girl he went for:  Sexy and skanky.  Yet she did nothing for him.  It was disconcerting.

            As the evening wore on, all three girls took their turns, going up to the bar and ordering drinks.  Putting all of it on a tab, of course.  It looked as though Hyde had been correct.  Holly had approached the skinny guy in the suit and was talking him up.  Hyde shook his head when he looked at their tab.  It looked like after tonight skinny-man's wallet would be a lot skinnier.  

            More customers began pouring in around 10pm, and Hyde was busy enough that he didn't have to hold court with the Three Sirens, much to their disappointment.  However, they didn't look broken hearted.  It was going to be another free night for them.

            "Need a break?" Dave asked, pulling some tips from the counter and dumping into a jar by the cash register.

            "Sure." He really did need a break.  This funny feeling had been in the pit of his stomach all night long, and maybe he just need to sit down and have a beer.  Grabbing a bottle by the neck, he headed out towards the back for some fresh air and quiet.  "Back in fifteen," he said.

            Dave nodded.  "See you in twenty then."  He laughed.

*~*~*~*

            "This place looks gross," Jackie pouted.

            "Where are all the slutty girls?"  Kelso said, bouncing on the ball of his feet, staring into the glass window of this little side bar they had walked by.  Realizing what he had just said, Kelso paused and said, "I mean, there are no slutty girls because I don't like slutty girls."  He looked at Jackie.  "I just got eyes for you, babe."

            "Oh shut up, Michael.

            "C'mon guys," Eric said, "it doesn't look that crowded and I dunno, it kind of reminds me of The Hub.  It could be cool."

            The gang was out on State Street tonight.  All the adults had gone for dinner and cocktails up on the capitol square, and knowing of Kitty's predilection for Manhattans, they were pretty sure they could do whatever they wanted to for the next few hours.  And what better to do than drink?  In bars?  In a college town?

            The streets were crowded, and many of the bars had lines going out the door.  Wandering around, they had veered off the main drag and found this little cozy bar.

            "It's a dump," Jackie insisted.

            Donna put her hands on her hips.  "Well I say we go in.  We've been walking around for like, an hour.  Can we just go in somewhere?"

            Fez pressed his face against the glass window.  "I see sluts!" he cried happily.

            Donna grabbed him by the arm and shoved him towards the door.  "We're going in!" she said.  "No 'ifs' 'ands' or 'buts'!"

            "The Rusty Penny?" Jackie said, eyebrow raised?  "Sounds like you can get tetanus from it."  But she went in with them all the same.

            "See, this isn't half bad," Eric said when a table opened up and they sat down.

            But after about ten minutes, the complaints started up.

            "Man, where are all the hot chicks?  The waitress isn't half bad, but if she's not all over me by now, I dunno!"  Kelso said.  "And those hot chicks over there?  They just keep talking to that ugly skinny guy.  If this is the kind of place where foxiness is not appreciated, well then, I don't know!"

            "Hey!"  Eric said, "that guy's not that ugly." 

            "Oh my god, it's getting late," Donna said, checking her watch.  "We have orientation at eight tomorrow.  We should probably head back to the dorm to get some sleep."

            "God, you're all old ladies," Jackie said, but she was getting sick of The Rusty Penny too.  This definitely wasn't a place for captains of their cheerleading squad to hang out.

            "And they have no candy!" Fez railed.  "What kind of establishment is this where you have no candy!  And no pretzels either?"

            So they all left, and were a block-away from Jackie's hotel when she realized she had forgotten her purse at The Rusty Penny.

            "My favorite brush is in that purse!" she said.

            "Want us to wait for you?" Donna asked.  She glanced at her watch.

            "It's okay.  The bar is only a block away from my hotel.  I'll be fine."

            "Are you absolutely sure?"

            "What could happen, Donna?"

            Reluctantly, Donna and the others left and Jackie headed back to the bar to get her brush.  She hoped no sluts had touched it.  It was genuine leather after all!

            Popping back into the bar, a tall blonde man approached her.  He smiled wide and lazily, dimples dotting his cheeks.  He leaned against a booth and swirled his drink in his hand.  He gave her the once-over, and then for good measure, did it again.

            "Hey there, sweets."

            She looked at him. He wasn't bad looking.  He kind of had a Shaun Cassidy thing going for him.  She stopped.  This was what college guys were supposed to look like, she thought.

            "Hi." She smiled.

            "What's a cutie like you doing in a place like this?"

            "Oh, I just forgot my purse."  The way he was looking at her suddenly made Jackie feel dirty.  She tried to avoid his stare.  She headed over the booth and started rummaging around, trying to feel where her purse had dropped.

            "Ow!"  She felt a hand slap her on the butt.  She spun around on the booth in surprise and horror.  The blonde man leered. He reached out a hand to grab her again.

            "Don't touch me!" she cried, now a little frightened.  Jackie hated being the victim, but he was so much bigger than she was.  She looked around, wishing Donna had come with her.  Donna could have used her lumberjack hands to knock him out. 

            "Nice and firm," he said approvingly.  She saw him stare at her chest.  Her arms went up immediately to block herself.

            "Get away from me!" she yelled.  

            The other bar patrons were now staring, but still, no one did anything.

            "Just a little lovers quarrel," the blonde man said, looking back and smiling.

            "No it's not!" she yelled, her face burning.

            He reached out again, this time grabbing her by the arm, pulling her close.  His face was bright red and puffy with drink, his eyes glassy.  His breath was hot against her face, and she struggled in his grip, trying to scratch him with her fingernails, trying to push him away.

            "Let go of me!" she screamed,  still fighting.  "Let go!"

*~*~*~*~*

Hyde got back from his break only to be met head on with a bar fight.  He heard the commotion from the back room as he wove his way back into the bar.  Linda was rummaging around in the kitchen looking for some pickled onions.  She looked up when she saw him come in.

            "What the hell?"

            Before she could say anything, Hyde was back out in the main room of The Rusty Penny, scanning the room from behind his dark glasses.  In a corner, right beneath a black velvet painting of some church on a cliff with crashing waves, he saw some guy, arms raised in the air, two distinct little hands in his clutches.  

            His first thought was that one of the Three Sirens were being manhandled, tonight picking the wrong guy to hit on.  Although he didn't really feel a whole lot for them, they certainly didn't deserve this.

            I should've stayed on break, he thought briefly before shaking his head and sighing wearily.  He closed his eyes for a split second, his hands balling into fists.  

            "Oh no," he muttered, then without another moment's hesitation, stomped over to the scene.  Patrons were on their feet, watching like deer in headlights, no one else doing anything.  Did no one else besides himself and Red Forman believe in a little ass-kicking anymore?

            Hyde reached the man in six strides.  He reached out and tapped the man on the shoulder, hard.  The blonde man whirled around, then before he could say a word, Hyde watched the man go flying to the ground.  He grunted hard, his body folding like an accordion, and tumbled to the sticky bar floor, his feathery hair flying.

            "What's your problem, man?" Hyde yelled over the music.  "You don't mess with women like that!"  The blonde man looked dazed.  Hyde continued to yell.  "What kind of damned moron are you?"

            "Frigid bitch . . ." the man muttered drunkenly.  "She…she started it."  

            He had enough.  Taking the man by the collar, Hyde lifted him up to his feet.  Then, still holding on to him, Hyde forcefully removed him the fifteen feet it required to get to the door, then threw him out onto the front step.  "Get outta here."  He turned around and brushed his hands.  "Dumbass."

            Holly, the redhead came running up to him, clinging onto his arm.  "Oh. My. God!" she trilled.  "That was so hot, Hyde!"

            He cleared his throat and tried to shake her off.  "You okay?  Or your friends?  Was that guy messing with you?"

            She shook her head furiously.  "It wasn't us."  She reached out a manicured red finger nail and pointed back to the bar corner.  "She was the who started it all."  Holly shrugged. "No idea who she is, though."

            Hyde squinted.  No, he thought, I must be seeing something.  Taking off his glasses and clipping them onto his shirt, he rubbed his eyes.  It couldn't be, he thought, but it had to be.  He felt the blood drain from his face.  His knees became a little less secure in his balance.

            There she was, standing before him in the flesh, one hand clutching onto a purse, the other one curled into a tight fist, held out as though after throwing a punch it had just frozen in that position.

            "Jackie?" he said hoarsely, unable to tear his eyes away.

            She gasped.  "Steven.  Oh my god.  Steven!"

[end part 4]


	5. The Scientist

Past Tense, Future Imperfect 

by Jaded (opheliadrowning@hotmail.com)

Disclaimer:  This chapter is mine, but the characters aren't.  Please don't sue me.  It's not like I'd have a whole lot of money anyway.

Thanks: To everyone who has read and reviewed the last few chapters.  You guys are wonderful, and it's hard to express how much I appreciate the support.  Sorry it's taken so long for another chapter, but I'm finally facing a long stretch of free time, which I hope means more stories, more updates.

RECAP: After graduation from Point Place High, Hyde leaves town without telling anyone where he's gone.  Later, the gang is in Madison for UW orientation.  Hyde's been in town for the last few summer months working at The Rusty Penny, a bar in the downtown district.  Donna, Eric, Kelso, Fez, and Jackie head out to the bar, but calling it a night head back to the dorms to get some rest.  Jackie forgets her purse at the bar, but when she goes back a drunk accosts her.  Hyde comes flying to her rescue not knowing that it's her.  Where we last left off, Jackie and Hyde faced each other for the first time in months.

A/N: The song being used is Coldplay's "The Scientist" off their "Rush of Blood to the Head" CD, which I totally recommend.  Great mood music while reading the story as well.

Summary:  _What happens when Jackie and Hyde meet up again for the first time in three months?_

Part Five: The Scientist 

_"Come up to meet you, _

_Tell you I'm sorry,_

_You don't know how lovely you are,_

_I had to find you,_

_Tell you I need you,_

_Tell you I set you apart"_

            The first time I ever saw Jackie Burkhart she was an annoying little brat who went around school acting like she was better than everyone else because her daddy had money.  I wanted to shove her into the sand pits and pull her pigtails, but back then I didn't really care enough to waste my time.  There were other people to beat up.  Forman and Kelso, for instance.  For the most part I forgot about her until Kelso started dating her.  Then, she was always around, buzzing like a little gnat that you couldn't swat away.  I tried ignoring her then as well, but it was hard.  Instead, I started burning her every chance I got, and she tried to insult me, calling me poor and scruffy and rough whenever she took a break from nagging Kelso about how he didn't buy her enough presents.  Back then I always knew what to say to her.  I always _had _ something to say.  

            But now here she is and my mouth is dry and it feels like someone's just shoved my head into a brick wall.  

            "Steven.  Oh my god.  Steven!"

I haven't seen her in months, and it feels like it's been forever since graduation, the last time I saw her.  She's beautiful.  But of course she is, even though she looks scared.  Or is it shocked?  I know I'm the last person in the world she's expecting to see. 

I look behind me to see if that asshole who was messing with her is really gone, and he's no where in sight.  It was bad enough that he was trying to grope any woman, but when that any woman is Jackie then . . . let's just say he was lucky that I didn't find out it was her until after I kicked him out. 

And then there she is again, standing in front of me.  I feel Holly tug at my arm.

"Yeah?" I say, a little too sharply.

She draws back frowning.  "I just wanted to thank you."

I shrug, not looking away from Jackie.  "I didn't do anything."

Holly stayed a moment longer, but probably feeling ignored, she left.  And then it was me and Jackie with the whole room still staring.  But I didn't care.  

She looked frozen in her spot, her tiny fists still clenched, her eyes wide and round.  Instinctively, I took a step towards her because that's just my way.  When she looks like that—on the edge of tears—I can't just leave her alone.  I can't stand to see her hurt, and this time, for the first time in a long time, I know I'm not the one that's put that look on her face.

"Jackie…"  It's not like I know what to say to her, but it's a start.  I could have just walked away after seeing if she was fine, but I'm still here.  There's actually a hundred million things I want to say to her but I can't put any of them into words.  It'd be the wrong moment anyway.  It would just make everything seem cheap.  I haven't forgotten how I hurt her.  I could tell her I'm sorry.  I want to tell her I'm sorry, but she wouldn't buy it, and I don't think I'd take it anyway, not with her like this.   I've always found the best time to ask someone anything or blackmail them is when they're emotionally vulnerable.  Hit them in the soft spot and go in for the kill, but when Jackie's at her most vulnerable, the sad truth is, so am I.  It sucks.

Before I can get another word out though, her arms are around my neck.  I hear her purse hit the floor, a _plop_ at my heels.  For a moment I can't breath.  She's holding me so tightly she's crushing my ribs against my lungs.  I can hear her panting softly, a sound like sobbing.  Her head is buried into my chest, and for the first few seconds I'm frozen in my spot because this wasn't the way it was supposed to happen.

"Steven," she breathes, and I almost don't catch her words because they're so quiet.

Then, like six months ago never happened my arms are around her too and I pull her even closer as if that were possible.  I go cold all over except for where we're making physical contact.  Then I'm burning up, and all I can think about is how I want the room to be empty except for us, and that I want to kiss her mouth, her eyelids, her neck like she's never been touched before.  

I think I'm going crazy, and I know that it's because she's here.  Jackie Burkhart makes me crazy.  I want to tell her things that have no place coming out of my mouth.  She had me enough that I told her I loved her, and even though it was the wrong time I still meant every word.  I think about all the chicks I've ever had a thing for—Donna included—and combined they don't compare to this.  I'm a second away from telling her that I want her.  I need her.  But I don't because despite having her right there in my arms, feeling her so soft and small and_ right_ I came to my senses in time.  However much I want it, I don't think she does.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

She pulls away from me a little bit and looks up, and in the dim light of the bar I can see her eyes, blue and green, bright with tears.  I think of every time I've looked into that face, but mostly about when we were together, us lying on the couch in the Forman's basement or on my cot, my face hovering over hers, smirking at her until she reached up to pull my mouth to hers, kissing until we couldn't breath anymore and had to go up for air. I try not to think about how pissed off those same eyes looked when I told her about Irene, about kissing her when I thought she was messing around with Kelso. 

She drops her arms from around my neck and looks confused.  "Yeah," she says slowly as though there was something else she wanted to say, but decided against it at the last second.  "Steven—what are you—why are you here?"  She takes a quick swipe at her eyes and sniffles.

And the look on her face breaks my heart.  It actually breaks my heart.  This is the girl I love, and looking at her again I know there's no one else and there's never going to be anyone else.  But what breaks my heart is knowing that I lost her because I screwed up, and that things can never go back to the way they were.  There's no science, no magic that's going to ever make things better.  There's no secret formula that's going to make her forget that I cheated on her.

I feel someone tap me on the shoulder. Linda appears from behind me carrying a tray of beers.

"Dave says take the rest of the night off," she says into my ear, nodding back to where my boss stands behind the bar, smiling like some damned Chesire Cat.  

"It's okay, Linda, I don't—"

"Just get the hell out of here, Hyde," she says.  "You know you want to."  I see her give Jackie a look.  She smiles at me.  "So this is the mystery girl, is it?  Try not to screw it up this time, okay?"  She winks then disappears to server her table.

Crap.

"Steven?"

Jackie takes my hand.  What the hell is she doing?

I clear my throat and going with the feeling, pull her hand and move the both of us towards the door.

"Seriously, Jackie, are you okay?  Did that guy hurt you at all?"

She shakes her head.  "I'm fine mostly."

"You totally kicked his ass.  I saw."

She beams at me, and again I want to grab her, press her up against a wall and kiss her.  

"I had a good teacher," she says softly.  And the way she says it makes me reach out and touch her face and brush a stray hair away from her cheek.  I watch her blush, and even though it's dark I can see the pink in her face.

I don't realize it right away, but I'm just staring at her and a minute passes when neither of us says a word.  

"Er, what are you doing in Madison?" I ask, although I kind of already know.  I've been hoping and dreading for weeks that I might see her when the rest of the gang came up to check out the university.

"Oh, I'm just here visiting with Donna.  It gets lonely in Point Place with everyone gone."

I wonder if that includes me.

"Where are you staying?" I check my watch.  It's getting late.  We head towards State Street and I can see crowds of students pouring in and out of bars, making one last bar hop before closing time.

"At the University Inn." She points to her left.  "It's not that far away."

"Let me walk you home."  She gives me a strange look.

I know I'm not her boyfriend anymore.  I actually don't even know if I'd say we were friends, and by no means am I her knight in shining armor, but I'm not going to let her walk home alone.  If one idiot in the bar is any indication of the people out, I'm not going to risk her safety because something's _uncomfortable_.  It's not a _right,_ but a duty.  It's what any man would do in the same situation.  I couldn't live with myself if I just let her wander off by herself in a strange city and something happened to her.

"Are you sure?" she asks slowly. I can't tell if she sounds suspicious, hopeful or what.

"Yeah, it's no problem.  It's not out of my way."  _And I miss you._

_"Tell me your secrets,_

_And ask me your questions,_

_Oh let's go back to the start,_

_Running in circles,_

_Coming up tails,_

_Heads are a science apart"_

            I'm glad that it's so loud out tonight.  People are sprinting down the street, screaming.  A bunch of girls dart out in front of me and Jackie, laughing and shrieking, obviously drunk out of their minds.  I usually get really annoyed by all those losers, but they don't bother me so much tonight because I'm not thinking about them.  They're just background noise. 

The street is bright with lights and the full moon. Maybe that's why everyone is so crazy tonight.  Maybe that's why tonight of all nights was when I'd have to run into Jackie, totally unprepared. 

            We don't talk the entire length of the way there.  My arms are crossed.  I try to focus on the sidewalk, try to see our destination but I can't stop looking at her.  I shoot her little glances, check to see if she's looking back.

            Jackie swings her purse in one hand, and her head is tilted downwards.  She's not looking at me.  Her dark hair is curlier than usual—the humidity probably, or at least that's what she'd always tell me when she didn't think I was listening to Hair Care 101—and it falls a little in front of her face and I can't see her expression.  She's so quiet, and Jackie's never quiet.  I wonder what she's thinking, if this is as weird for her as it is for me.

            We get to the hotel and she stops at the front door.  Does this mean that she wants me to go?  I don't move though, because you know what?  I decide I don't want to.  Twenty minutes in her presence and I'm not ready to give her up again.  I know I was the one who left, I know I was the one who screwed up, but that also means that it's my place to try to make things better.  Because when I see her, like I see her now, I know that I don't want to be without her, or move on without knowing that I didn't at least try.

            I think about my parents.  They didn't try to stick together.  They took things as they came, and yeah, so I thought that was an okay to do things, but they were never happy.  They just fought all the time and when things go rough they just left.  It might have been easy, but it probably wasn't the best way to handle things.  That's how I learned to cope though.  _Trying_ has never been my style, you know?  But then I've never had something that was worth the effort, until now.

            Jackie pulls a key out from her purse.  I'm about to protest.  I want to tell her, "I need to talk to you, Jackie.  We need to talk, and you know how much I hate talking, so this is really important.  You're here.  I'm here.  Let me buy you a soda, but c'mon, just give me a chance," but she speaks first.

            "Walk me to my room?"

            I nod silently and open the door for her.  

            We take the elevator up a few flights and walk down the quiet corridor to her room.  At her door she doesn't say anything, just unlocks it, flips on the light and waits for me to follow her in.  I stand in the doorway, staring.  I see her suitcase sitting on her bed, her make-up case a desk, and then her, biting her lip.

            "Uh," I say, looking at her, then behind me.  "Uh."

_"Nobody said it was easy,_

_It's such a shame for us to part,_

_Nobody said it was easy,_

_No one ever said it would be this hard,_

_Oh, take me back to the start"_

            Then taking a breath, I take a step forward.  I pull the door close, and there we are, alone in her hotel room.

            "Jackie."

            Her face turns dark and stormy.  "You know, for a while I thought you might have been dead, Steven."

            "What?"  I look at her blankly.  Where did this come from?

            Jackie takes four strides towards me and pounds a fist against my chest.

            "Jackie!  What the hell was that for?"

            She hits me again, and pushes me away wiping her eyes.  She turns around and walks towards the bed.

            "You vanish after graduation without a word.  You don't tell anyone, not even Mr. and Mrs. Forman where you are.  For a while we all thought maybe you had gone to Milwaukee, or maybe New York, but then no one heard from you.  You never wrote.  You never called!"  She sits down on the bed and angrily starts taking her shoes off.  She throws one at me.  I dodge it.  "Did we all mean that little to you?"

            The hurt look returns, and shit, again it's me.  "Jackie, man, me leaving has nothing to do with how I feel about you or the Formans or whatever."  Then I think about, and realize what I'm saying.  I walk over to her and crouch down by her feet.  "Not like that, at least."

            "Then like what?"

_"I was just guessing,_

_At number and figures,_

_Pulling the puzzles apart,_

_Questions of science, _

_Science and progress,_

_Don't speak as loud as my heart"_

            I sigh.   Honestly, I don't even know.  Some things you can't put into words.  It's just how it is.  Am I suppose to tell her that it was just too much to bear to stick around Point Place because there wasn't anything there for me anymore?  That everyone would be better off without one less burden, one less troublemaker around?  It's complicated.  I don't know how functional relationships are supposed to work.  It's like physics to me.  If an apple falls, it falls.  I don't care why it falls, it just does.  But then after it hits the ground then something else has to happen to it.  It either rots where it stays, or it rolls away, or gets picked up.  I just picked myself up.

            I don't say this though.

            "I don't know."

            She turns her head away from me, but I don't move.  

            "You never do."

            "What is that supposed to mean?"

            "You never know what to say, Steven.  When my dad went to prison you didn't know what to say.  When you cheated on me you told me you loved me, and tell me, in what world does that make sense?  In what world does that make it better?"

            "So that's what this is about?" I say, standing up.  "About cheating?  Jackie, we've been broken up for half a year.  I haven't seen you in three months.  What does it matter anymore that I cheated on you?  You obviously didn't want to be with me, and I'm not asking you to get back together now!"

            She gets up and throws her other shoe on the floor.  I watch her face break down into tears, and nothing, absolutely nothing makes sense anymore.

            "That's not what this is about!" she shouts, and I bet the people in the adjoining rooms can hear every single word.

            "Then what is it about, Jackie?"

            "It's about how you don't understand why certain things you say and do make absolutely no sense!"

            "What?"

            She grabs a tissue and blows her nose.  "Why did you have to tell me that you loved me for the first time _after_ you told me you cheated?  I thought you were better than that, Steven.  That's what Michael would've done to try to get me back.  Well it doesn't make things better!"

            "Obviously not."  I'm feeling angry, but this isn't how I'm going to let it end.  "It wasn't about trying to get you to forget what I did, Jackie.  I didn't have to tell you.  I didn't lie about it.  I meant it when I said I loved you."

            "Loved," she says bitterly, and I want to scream.

            "It's not about words, Jackie.  I've never been about words.  When I feel something I act on it.  I could've told you a hundred different ways this or that but I didn't."

            "What, so now 'I love you' doesn't count as words?"

            I begin to wonder if she knows me at all.  

            "It's because I said them that mattered, Jackie.  I don't tell people I love them.  I just don't.  But I told you.  And I meant it."

            She crosses her arms and takes a step towards me.  "Then," she says, her voice breaking, "what did it mean when you just left, Steven?  And never said where you were?  What does that say about you?"

_"Tell me you love me,_

_Come back and haunt me,_

_Oh and I rush to the start,_

_Running in circles,_

_Chasing tails,_

_Coming back as we are"_

            I turn around and grab the door handle.  Is this what everyone expects of me? Then fine, I'm sick of it.  She thinks that I always run when there's trouble, then that's what I'll do.  Why try to lift anyone's expectations.  Maybe things between us will never officially be over.  Maybe I'll have to think about her for the rest of my life, regretting everything, but you know what?  I tried, and she apparently doesn't care.

            I twist the handle, but before I can open the door I feel her reaching out towards me.

            "No, Steven—wait!"

            I let go and turn around.  I don't know why, but I keep coming back, and always at the end of the line there's Jackie.  I feel most of my anger fall away.  Is this why Forman's always been such a pansy-ass?  Because of Donna?  Because love makes you a complete idiot, like I am now?  I know better, but I'm still here.

            I suddenly feel very tired, but not because it's almost one in the morning.  "What now, Jackie?  What do you want from me?"

            And then I get my answer, not in words but in actions.  She rushes towards me like she did earlier at the bar, and her arms curl around my neck again.  But this time it's not just a hug this time.  She is kissing me, and this time I don't waste a second before I kiss her back.  I run my hands through her soft hair and remember how much I missed this feeling.  Jackie presses up against me and every curve, familiar as though I had never stopped holding her for one second, is right there with me.  Me and her, and I can't believe this is happening.  

            Her mouth, petal soft, opens up for another deep kiss, and that's when I feel her hot tears.  They're running down her face, and because we are so close, they're running down mine too.  I kiss her back hard and pull her closer as though she were trying to get away, but she's not.  Our tongues tangle as the kiss deepens, and I forgot about the fighting, about the anger, the regret.  Nothing has ever felt so right as this.  Nothing else in the world makes as much sense as this does right here and now.

            Jackie's back arches slightly and I hear her moaning softly.  I kiss her neck, then the hollow of her throat.  Her hands pull at my beard, pulling my face to hers again.  I place kisses against her jaw, and before kissing her full on the mouth again I look into her eyes, and they are dark and wild.

            How long it goes on for, I don't know, but when we break apart I can't breathe.  Her head tilts back and she lets out a giant sigh before she buries her head against my chest.  Her nails are digging into my back.  I feel her shaking against me, and wonder if she's still crying, and why she is crying.

            I brush my hand against her face by her hairline where the tiny wisps of baby hair are downy to the touch.  I kiss the top of her head and hug her closer.

            Then I hear her let out a sob, and it's so full and round with every emotion she's feeling it makes my chest tighten and my heart almost stop.

            "I still love you," she says through tears, and she sounds full of hurt, like she doesn't want to say it but it's the only truth she has.

            And what is my truth?  

            "Me too," I say without another thought, another moment of hesitation.  Finally.  At last.

_"Nobody said it was easy,_

_Oh it's such a shame for us to part,_

_Nobody said it was easy,_

_No one ever said it would be so hard,_

_I'm going back to the start."_

[end part 5]


	6. Just Like Starting Over

Past Tense, Future Imperfect 

**by**** Jaded (opheliadrowning@hotmail.com)**

Summary: When we last left off, Jackie and Hyde had reunited in Madison and had a blazing argument which ended in a make-up make-out session.  Kissing is all fine and dandy, but what happens when they have to talk, and when they have to start facing the consequences?

Disclaimer:  Not mine.  

A/N: So sorry it has taken so long to write this next chapter.  I don't know where my head has been.  However, I hope you'll still read and review.  And in the meanwhile, have a wonderful Independence Day weekend (to all you Americans, at home and abroad).

**Chapter 6: Just Like Starting Over**

At first, she didn't really hear him.  Jackie could hear the sounds of people on the street below yelling and having a drunken good time.  Some girls were shrieking, then giggling.  In the back of her mind, she heard Andy Gibb crooning, "I Just Wanna Be Your Everything."  She felt light-headed, and she could hardly hear much else because  simply _feeling_ everything she was feeling now, kissing him again, was consuming so much of her attention and her energy. 

"Me too."  _I still love you._

It was just like kissing him again for the first time in Eric's basement, that same thrill of excitement that poured through every cell in her body and made her heart pound.  Jackie ran her hands down his face, pulled him close again, and kissed him.  She didn't even mind the beard so much.  

It took a moment to register, but she finally heard him.  Jackie pulled away and stared Hyde in the face.  His eyes were cloudy and unfocused.  He blinked, then looked at her with a slow, sly smile.  He reached towards her, touched her cheek gently, then ran his finger along her jaw line.  He looked dazed.

"You . . . _still love me?_" she asked.

He blinked at her again, and his mouth opened.  Then closed.  Jackie licked her lips and felt her chest start to tighten.  Maybe he hadn't really said it, she thought.  The long silence made her nervous.

He coughed, the way he always coughed just before he was going to say something important, shook his head slightly, then tilted her face up so he could look her directly in the face.

"You know what, I suppose I do."

"You suppose?" she barked.

"Alright!  I do!"  His voice became a little softer.  "I do.  I gotta be.  I've never been so stupid about any chick in my life.  It's gotta mean something."

She shoved him playfully.  "Thanks a lot, Steven."

"Anything for you babe."  He ran his tongue over his teeth.  "So…we gonna talk, or make-out some more?"

"You're such a pig!" she cried, but without any real outrage.  This was how they had been before all the mess, all the misunderstanding.  She knew he wasn't much of a talker, especially when it came to emotions, but he always listened to her, even when she was rattling off the reasons why she thought Scott Baio had better hair than Donny Osmond.  

The room was still dark, but she could see him so clearly.  She felt tingly, then hot and cold all over.  Finally, Jackie just gave into the urge and reached for Hyde again, wrapping her arms around his torso and pulling him for a long, deep kiss.  She felt him relax, and he began to kiss her back, his tongue darting in and out of her mouth.  She pushed against him and they began to slide towards the other side of the room before they tripped over the bed.  

He fell on his back and she fell on top of him, both still tangled together in one another.  It was just like they had started again where they had left off, and for that reason, Jackie stopped.  She let the last kiss linger before she sat up.  Hyde, out of breath, managed to sit up.

"Jackie!" he said, "what are you _doing to me?"_  

"Steven, trust me, I didn't want to stop but--" he tried to interrupt her but she shushed him, "we have to talk.  About us."

Hyde fell back and covered his eyes with his forearm.  He groaned.  "Do we?"

"Yes," she insisted, "we really do, because I love you, Steven Hyde, and if there's going to be a next time I want to do whatever I possibly can to make sure that it works.  Okay?  Steven?"

"Okay!  Okay, but I'm going to put it out there I'm saying so not because I'm whipped." 

Jackie smiled and said nothing.  She'd let him think that.  She reached out and ran a hand through his unruly hair.  It looked darker than she remembered, more brown.  Hyde didn't try to stop her, didn't really seem to react except for an odd expression on his face, a mixture of curiosity and regret.

"I need you to trust me," she said with a sigh, pulling her hand away from him.  "That is for sure one of the basic rules if we're going to be . . . anything again."

"Jackie--" he cleared his throat, "me and rules?  We don't get along, you--"

"For me?"

He paused, looking at her intently.  Finally, he said, "I will.  For you."

"Thank you."

"The same goes for you then?  You trust me?"

"Steven!  Of course!"

"As long as there's no reason for either of us to doubt one another," he said firmly.

Jackie gave him a hard stare.  "Yeah, and as long as neither one of us goes _looking_ for a reason."

Hyde grinned at her, his lips quirking somewhere behind the beard.

"What?" she demanded.

He leaned in and kissed her, his tongue opening up her mouth.  An involuntary moan escaped from her lips.  "Tough love," he said, his voice full of sex.  "I like it.  You are most definitely still a badass, Jackie."

"You know it," she sniffed with mock disdain, then giving into an urge that had seized her, grabbed his face and kissed him back until they were both short of breath and light-headed.  Jackie fell against Hyde's chest and suddenly felt very tired, but tired in the happiest, most wonderful way.  She nuzzled her cheek against his face.  

"You don't have to leave now, do you?" she whispered.

Hyde ran his hands up and down the sides of her body, one hand coming to rest on her waist.  "Only if you want me to.  Though let it be said now, I personally am pretty happy where I am.  You know, just so you have all the facts in."

Jackie stared into the darkness of the room.  Things were quieting down outside.  She could hear him breathe.  Her arms tightened around him, a delicious feeling filling her up inside.    

"I want you to stay."

"Then that's what I'll do."

Hyde rolled onto his side and pulled her with him.  She landed softly on the other side of the mattress.  

"We'll talk more tomorrow," Jackie mumbled sleepily.  "Mmm, Steven, I'm so glad you're here."  Snuggling up against him, she curled up and rested her head on his chest.  "Goodnight."

"So we're not going to do it then?" she heard him say.

Jackie jerked back, eyes wide open.  She hit him.  "Pig!"

Hyde laughed and caught her fist in his hand.  "Jackie!  Jackie!" she kept struggling.  "I'm joking, man!  Jackie, quit it!"  

She stopped, saw his face, and then started laughing herself.  

"You know, for a ninety-five pounder, you sure pack a punch."

She tilted her head slightly.  "Just a little something I learned at cheerleading camp.  Anyway, it's not like I'm going to stand around all the time waiting for my knight in shining armor to save me."

"That's a . . . fair point," he said thoughtfully.

Jackie took on of his big hands with both of hers.  She pressed his palm to her cheek.  "But it's nice if he comes around every once in a while.  I kind of like it when he does."

Eventually Jackie began to drift off to sleep, feeling safe, comfortable, and content.  The day had seemed so long, but now, now with Hyde lying next to her, she didn't want tomorrow to come.  Dimly, through her fog of sleep, she thought she heard him say something to her, his lips only inches away from her ear.  It sounded like, "I've missed you.  You don't know how much," but she wasn't sure if he had actually said it or if she had dreamed it.  But it didn't matter.  She didn't need to hear the words to know that it was true.

***

Hyde left the next morning to go to his apartment and get some clean clothes, but only after a lengthy goodbye with a promise to come back in a couple of hours to pick her up for lunch.  They had slept in until 9:30, spooned up against one another.  

Jackie had been worried that things would be awkward in the morning, that all the excitement from the night before would've worn off and they would've been back to where they had been when they had broken up months ago.  But it had been just like starting over, like their relationship in those early days when they had snuck around to make-out, and everything seemed so forbidden and wrong, but neither wanted to end it.  

She had thought long and hard about _them_ after she had found out he had left Point Place.  _I won't let anyone ever cheat on me again_, she had thought, and had felt resolved in that decision.  She still was, although the little details had changed.  Those first few months, as much as it pained her to _not be with him, she wouldn't allow herself.  She'd forgiven Michael too many times, and that had ended badly.  In the long run though, she felt that he, of all people, deserved a second chance.  _

He'd had a horrible childhood.  She knew a little of what that must have felt like now, with her father in jail and her mother abandoning her.  If it hadn't been for him then, she would've felt unwanted and unloved, and sometimes she had.  But he'd do something in his round-about way to show her he wanted her and loved her, and she had felt better.

And Jackie had seen her parents torn apart, and saw how their "love" had deteriorated until she was the only one left, and left alone at that.  Love, apparently, wasn't as easy to come by and keep as she had thought, and it had come down to the honest fact that she loved him, and that it was worth another chance at least to try and see.

While she was trying to brush her teeth that morning he had come behind her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing on her neck and on her shoulders, so completely engrossed in _her.  Jackie had missed feeling this way, and feeling this way with him._

She turned around to kiss his back, giving him a mouthful of toothpaste.

"Now I don't have to brush my teeth," he had smirked at her.

Hyde promised to come around at noon to get some lunch.

"My clothes still stink like smoke and beer," he said, "and you probably don't want to smell that, do you?"

"No, not really."

The interesting part was yet to come though.  He opened the door to leave, and Jackie followed him.  They kissed goodbye again, a full minute at least, and it would have gone on longer but a voice screeched through the hallway and broke them apart.

"JACKIE!  WHAT THE HELL?"

Hyde whirled around and Jackie saw past his shoulder and saw who it was.

"Hey Donna," Hyde said.  "Hey Forman."

Donna and Eric stood in the hallway of the hotel, mouths agape.

"HYDE!"

"Yep, that's me."  He turned to Jackie and he kissed her on the forehead.  "I'll see you in a couple of hours, babe."

He threw his jacket over his shoulder and strolled down the hallway to the stairs past a stunned and silent Donna and Eric.

"Jackie!" Donna cried again, "what is going on?"

"Was that…was that Hyde?" Eric asked lamely, looking behind him.

Donna shoved him.  "Eric!  Go follow him!  Sic!"  She shoved him again and he scuttled away.

Jackie tightened her bathrobe a little more.  She saw Donna's face burn red, and smirked.  She had so much to tell her.

"Jackie!"

Jackie sighed in exasperation.  "You already said that, Donna, like a million times!  What's your point?"

"I called like, five times last night and you never answered!  I was worried sick about you, and I would've come but well, I was drunk… and Eric said I shouldn't worry so much."

Jackie faintly remembered a phone ringing, but that had been the least of her worries last night.  

"Wait, wait.  You let Eric win an argument?"

"That's not the point!  What happened?  What's going on?  Why was Hyde coming out of your room?  What was Hyde doing anywhere near you?"

Jackie pulled her friend inside the room and shutting the door, must to the disappointment of her neighbors who had been listening intently through their doors.  They sat down on the bed and Jackie began to explain everything.

"You were assaulted?" Donna cried, horrified.

"No, well, almost, but I hit him and then Steven dragged him outside and hurt him." Jackie beamed.  "Steven is so wonderful."

"So wait, you're back together now?"

Jackie hesitated.  "Yes.  No.  I don't know.  We're something though.  Donna, I still love him."

Donna looked down at the floor, then tucked a strand of her red hair behind her shoulder.  "Yeah.  I always thought you still did."

"You did?"

Donna smiled faintly.  "Yeah.  I thought what he did to you was pretty crappy, but it was a misunderstanding, and . . . I knew he loved you then, and Hyde doesn't love anything.  Except for maybe weed, but that's beside the point.  He's good for you, and you're good for him."  She shrugged.  "It makes sense, in a horrific, alien kind of way, but it makes sense."

Jackie hugged her best friend and squealed happily.

"I don't know what's going to happen with us now," she said honestly, "but I definitely want to try.  Donna, Steven has changed me for the better."

Donna raised an eyebrow.  "How?"

Jackie grinned excitedly.  "Well, I've said before that Steven makes me think about stuff, and while that still is kind of annoying sometimes, most of the time, it isn't."

"Well I suppose that's a good thing."

"And I'm less shallow now!"

Donna raised up a hand and laughed.  "Jackie, let's not get carried away now!"

"No!" Jackie insisted, and pointed to something on her face.  "It's true!"

Donna leaned in and squinted.  "What am I supposed to be looking at?"

"Last night before Steven and I fell asleep…I didn't take off my make-up.  Donna," Jackie continued seriously, "I always take off my make-up before I sleep.  I wash my face.  I moisturize.  I have an excruciating, exacting skin regime that I follow every night without fail.  I'm not this beautiful without a little work at least."  Jackie kept on pointing.  Donna still didn't understand what she was supposed to be seeing.

Jackie sighed.  "What I'm trying to say is that I didn't follow my regime last night, and this morning when I woke up, I didn't freak out that I hadn't. And this," she said pointing again to her face, "is a pimple."

Donna gasped.

"And I don't care," Jackie finished firmly.  "I don't care that I have a little break-out, because I got to see Steven again, and last night I didn't even think about washing my face because it didn't seem important to me at all."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"You don't care?" Donna asked.  "Not even a little bit?"

"Nope."

"So if I tried to pop it--" 

Jackie swatted Donna's hands away quickly.  "Get your lumberjack hands off me!" she screeched.

Donna chortled.  "You still care a little bit.  That' s the Jackie Burkhart I know."

Jackie pouted grumpily.

"Aw, don't worry, Jackie, I'm sure Hyde won't say anything about it.  Because he looooooves you.  Hyde and Jackie, sitting in a tree . . . "

"He does, doesn't he?" she said.  Jackie smiled to herself and began to daydream.  It was funny how things worked out.


	7. The Luckiest

Past Tense, Future Imperfect 

by Jaded (opheliadrowning@hotmail.com)

Chapter 7

A/N:  Lyrics are from Ben Fold's "The Luckiest" on the _Rockin' the Suburbs_ album.  Also, thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, and supported me so far in the writing of this story.  We're in the home stretch now.

Summary:  Jackie and Hyde have had a bumpy past, and the future looks far from perfect.  But who ever said that imperfect meant things didn't work out?

Rating: Still PG-13

Disclaimer:  Not mine, but I've had a lot of fun playing with other people's toys.

Chapter 7: The Luckiest 

_"I don't get many things right the first time,_

_In fact I am told that a lot,_

_Now I know all the wrong turns –_

_The stumbles and falls brought me here"_

I am not the kind of guy to turn down free stuff.  Hell, I don't turn down stuff that I'm supposed to pay for.  I'm all about liberation, man, because capitalism enslaves the working man.  So when I got down to the hotel lobby I made my way towards the free continental breakfast and liberated a couple of blueberry muffins and a cup of hot black coffee.  Hey, I technically was a guest at the hotel because I spent the night so I'm entitled to some grub, but then again it's not like it mattered anyway.  Rules are arbitrary and I interpret them as I feel like.

And so while I waited for Forman to come and follow me as per Donna's orders (he's so predictable ) I finished off the food and thought about the only other thing that I could think about:  Jackie.  

Right about then I felt like I'd just had a stay of execution.  I spent the night with Jackie, kissing her, touching all those soft and smooth spots with my hands and with my mouth, places that I thought I'd never have access to again.  But then there they were, and there she was.  I even liked listening to her talk again, even though a lot of it was yelling, but that's something I'm used to by now, thanks to Edna.  Water off a duck's back, man.  

When I moved to Madison I did everything humanly possible to forget about anything that had ever gone on in Point Place.  I got a job at a bar where I figured no one from Point Place would ever find, no less go to, didn't try to make any friends or get to know anybody, and yeah, went on a few dates here and there with some chicks, all of them tall, some red-headed, mostly blondes.  The anti-Jackie Burkhart dating diet.

But the thing was, after the first one-night stand with this blonde co-ed named either Julia or Rachel—it's kind of a blur—I just quit the chicks cold turkey.  So it was only two months, but I'm a growing boy with a libido that okay, may not quite be on par with Kelso or Fez, but still.  But Jackie had thrown that off completely, and even when some of these girls had something interesting to say—such as discussing Blue Oyster Cult's newest album or talking about the possibility of a car that could run on water—I'd just tune-out, and what would I be thinking about instead?  Hair care and cheerleading.  Jackie must have brainwashed me, and the thing was, I didn't even mind.  I wanted to hear this stuff, but I only wanted to hear it coming from her.

Messed up.  So messed up, man.

I didn't even get a chance to get over her when she walked back into my life.  Honestly, I'm still confused about what really happened last night.  One minute she's screaming at me, telling me what a asshole I am, the next minute we're all over each other, getting hot and heavy, and she tells me that she still loves me.

And I surprise myself, because I tell her that I still loved her too, although not in so many words.  Surprised, not because I said it, not because I meant it, but because I think . . . I'm starting to _get it, _that I'm starting to understand that this is what love really feels like.  It's like the best high ever, but that you still feel paranoid that maybe it's not for real.

I chucked the muffin wrapper in the garbage and started mulling over why Jackie's even bothering giving me a second shot.  I messed up badly.  It's what I do.  I messed around with another girl while we were still together and then threw it in her face, even when I knew better, and knew that she wasn't in the best place anyway, what with her dad in jail and her mom drinking her way through Central America and her whole history with Kelso cheating on her.  And yet I still did it, and now here she is, giving me another chance to not break her heart.  

And I don't know if I can do that.  I just know that I don't want to mess up again, but theory is not practice.  I don't want to be that guy, I don't want to be the dumbass that makes her so sad and angry again.  But then again, I'm here and she says that she still wants me. Then again, Jackie's clearly crazy, but that's probably also rubbed off on me.  

I guess you could say I'm crazy about her.  I'd have to be crazy.  Me and Jackie Burkhart.  It still seems like some giant joke, but it's not so funny to me, not anymore.

_"And where was I before the day,_

_That I first saw your lovely face,_

_Now I see it every day,_

_And I know,_

_That I am, I am,_

_I am, the luckiest"_

When Kelso started dating Jackie, and she began coming around the basement all the time the whole gang was just annoyed, well except maybe for Fez who lusted after her for the good part of two years.  For all her hotness at first, she was way too annoying and I didn't even consider her.  Not at first at least.

I can't remember when she stopped being _as _annoying, or why for the life of me her presence around the basement started being okay, but it just did one day.  Sure, we still fought like cats and dogs.  I don't think a single day went without a burn—usually me burning her—passing between the two of us.  You could say it was like foreplay, but without all the benefits that should have come afterwards.  Sure, Jackie was annoying and bossy and shrill, but I was also human.  

Then things started getting jumbled around.  Jackie and Kelso broke up, dance around the subject a lot, and on and on.  It was freakin' horrible to watch, and not in a good way like race cars crashing or hockey players beating the living shit out of one another.  

Maybe that's when it all changed.  Maybe I just didn't like seeing _anyone_ being put over by Michael Kelso, who if you're going to be truthful, is the biggest moron in the continental United States.  But it might have been when Kelso really started hurting her and it wasn't so funny anymore.  A good burn was for the record books, but not when it was the kind that cut right down to the bone.  

When in May that year Jackie forced me to ask her to prom…I could have said, "No," but I didn't.  I could have ditched her that night to go drink beer or watch TV, but instead I did the whole number.  Tuxedo.  Matching shirt.  Corsage.  I didn't think of her like _that_ then, but something compelled me to make it one of those "nights to remember" for her.  Jackie Burkhart.  That girl gets me all tied up in knots.  

To tell the truth, when we were at the prom that night I didn't want her running back to Kelso.  I don't know what I wanted.  What I got was Pam Macy in the back of Jackie's dad's Lincoln, which was good then, but it hadn't been part of any sort of plan.  Of course, I'm a go-with-the-flow kind of guy, but I still didn't want a second season of the Jackie and Kelso show, but that's what happened.  I told Kelso then that it all just "sickened me," but he didn't take it like I meant it.

Crap.  And so the two of them went back and forth for what seemed like forever.  Fighting, making up, and the cheating.  Man, the cheating.  I guess I really don't have much of a right to talk about it, to pass any sort of judgment, but the way he kept dogging on her really tore me up, and it was hard not showing it.  So I did what I thought was best:  I dogged on Kelso every chance I got.  I reminded Jackie about all the times he had lied to her, took her money, and all the times he had broken her heart.  But it took Laurie Forman to really drive home the point to her that maybe Kelso wasn't so great.

I don't think I liked her then, not like that at least.  But who knows.  It took Mrs. Forman at the Veteran's Day barbecue to make to obvious to me, because I didn't want it to be true. But then that didn't work out, not like it might have.  

"I didn't feel anything."  That's what she said to me.  I couldn't get over that for a while. How could she not?  She had been chasing me for months.  "Steven!  You're so funny!  Steven!  You're such a card!  Steven!  Underneath it all you're really just a big old softy!"  It was that to nothing, and I found that I missed the attention.  I missed her.  It wasn't right, but it was reality.

But listen to me.  I've become such a woman.  Or like Forman.  I've had way too much time on my hands since I moved to Madison.  I was always about a little Hyde Zen-Time back in Point Place, but at least there I had more to distract myself with.  Forman was always running into my room bemoaning how yet again, Donna had misunderstood him, or it was Fez telling me about his needs, or Kelso yet again being Kelso.  Living alone, bar tending at nights, I had a lot of time to just think, and more often then not it was about Jackie.

It got to the point where I didn't even remember what it was like _before Jackie._  

_"What if I'd been born,_

_Fifty years before you in a house,_

_On the street where you lived?_

_Maybe I'd be outside _

_As you passed on your bike,_

_Would I know?"_

From the corner of my eye I suddenly saw Forman dashing through the lobby and out into the street.  It looked like he went flying.  I walked over to see where he went.  He was shielding his eyes from the early morning sun with one hand, searching frantically.  Typical.  Completely clueless.

I sighed, pushed my way through the glass doors and called to him.  He turned and jumped like a startled puppy and stared at me without saying a word.

"Following orders from your woman?" I asked casually as though I had just seen him the day before.  He seemed to draw himself up a little.  He walked towards me.

"Hey, man!" he said.  He jabbed a bony finger towards my chest.  I raised an eyebrow in warning and he backed off.  "Hey," he said again, deflated.

"Hey yourself."

"Donna told me to come get you."  Forman's shoulders slumped.

"So I heard."

"So uh, where the hell have you been, man?"

I shrugged.  "Here.  Working.  Living."

"Why here though?  We all thought you'd go somewhere wilder, like New York, or maybe Kenosha."

I shrugged again.  "I'm starting college in the fall.  I figured I might as well get here first and find a place to live."

Forman let out a sharp laugh, then caught himself when he realized I was being serious.

"College, Hyde?  That's so not you though."

"People change, man.  This is a different Steven Hyde."

"Well, you do have a beard again."

Then we both seemed at a loss for words.  I'm normally a man of few words, so nothing was that unusual on my end, but Forman?  He prattles on like a chatty little girl.  Silence is odd for him.

"Donna's going to be so pissed off when she talks to you," he blurted out.

I laughed.  "I don't doubt that, man," I say, and he laughs too, though a little nervously.

Donna.  Her name brings back the strangest memory, how, back before she and Forman started going steady "officially," I kind of had a thing for her.  Donna Pinciotti. Still fiery, still hot, but not for me anymore.  She was at one point though.  It made sense.  I was cool.  She was cool.  We would've made a hot couple, but she had a thing for the skinny neighbor boy, and Donna's was as stubborn as I am.  Which might have been the problem, ultimately.  

On paper I think me and Donna would've made sense, but on paper Jackie and Kelso also kind of make sense.  Look at how that turned out.

Donna has definite opinions about a lot of things, and she likes to talk about them.  A lot.  And until she "wins."  I don't think Donna would have liked me much if I told her to shut her trap all the time, and I wouldn't have liked her too much if she had lectured at me every day.  Donna needed someone to boss around—like Forman for instance—and I needed someone to _try_ and boss me around like Jackie.  Not that she'd ever succeed, but when we were going out Jackie and I worked out a system.  She'd talk and maybe I'd listen, but she'd never press the issue and I'd be there when she wanted someone to talk to.  So Donna needs Forman like I need Jackie.

Huh.  Well beat that, I need Jackie. 

It's funny how things work out.  If I had ever gone out with Donna then maybe Jackie and I would have never happened.  We would've never have gone to prom, she and Kelso would've never gotten back to together, broken up again, and again, and then Jackie and I would've never have had that summer together in the basement when Kelso ran off to California.  A lot of what-ifs.

_"And in a wide sea of eyes,_

_I see one pair of eyes that I recognize,_

And I know 

_That I am, I am,_

_I am, the luckiest"_

           I noticed then that Forman was still looking at me with this expectant look.

           "Yeah?" I asked.

           "You're not going to. . . run off again, are you, Hyde?"

           I turned and looked back at the hotel behind me, thinking of someone in her room, probably brushing her hair or putting on her make-up.  "No," I said.  "I don't think so."

           Forman looked relieved.  "Good.  Does this mean I'll see you later then, man?  I think Donna wants me to report . . . err, tell her what's going on."

           "You go do that.  I'll see you later, 'kay?"

           "Right."

           And that was that.  He went scurrying off to find Donna and I headed back to my apartment to clean up.

           It's a common myth that circulates that I, Steven Hyde, do not care about personal hygiene, but that is a misconception.  Sure, I look scruffy, but it's a cultivated look that's been a work in progress for many years.  I head back to my apartment to clean up a little.  Jackie always liked it when I smelled clean like soap.  Maybe because it was a contrast from Kelso, who frankly always smelled a little funky.    

           I wouldn't be telling her any of this, of course, but I was going to do what little I could to make her happy today.  If being clean is one way, then I was going to scrub down, baby.  Although the beard would stay, at least for now.  This is my second chance.  I could screw it up, like I usually do, like my parents did, but this time I don't want to.   

           A few minutes before noon I returned to the hotel to wait for her, and while I'm waiting I feel strangely paranoid that maybe, just maybe, she's not going to show up.  I started considering what to do in such a case.  Break down her door and demand she come out, or just leave.  But I didn't get the chance to pick because she showed up.  Sweeping down the stairs like a beauty pageant queen, she waved, her smile wide and toothy.  When Jackie reached the bottom of the steps, she broke into a sprint and headed straight into my arms.  I caught her and we spun a little.  She squealed happily.

"I love you more than I have ever found a way 

_To say to you"_

           Without thinking, I kissed her.  Her mouth opened willingly, and we probably were making a scene, but whatever.  She moaned softly, and when I looked I saw that here eyes were shut and that she was smiling at me.

           "You came," she said breathlessly, hugging me around the waist.

           "Of course I did.  You think I would miss this?"

           She blushed.

           She leaned in and whispered in my ear, "You big softy."  

           "Oh shut up," I said.

           "Let's go to lunch."  Jackie reached out and pulled my arm, dragging me out of the front doors and onto the street. Once outside I reached immediately for my sunglasses.  When I did I felt her stop my hand with hers.

           "Don't.  You're always hiding your eyes, Steven.  I think they're beautiful.  I firmly believe that if you have an asset like that you should flaunt it."

           "Jackie—"  

           "For me?  Pretty please?"

           I looked at her, at her beautiful, pouting face and well, crap.  'Fine," I said, pulling them off and clipping them back onto my shirt.  "But if I go blind from too much sun exposure, it's going to be on your head."

           "If you do, I'll make it up to you then."  

Interesting.

She smirked, but then turned away and started dragging me down the street again.  She was practically skipping.  I went along, but not skipping of course.

"Next door there's an old man 

_Who lived into his nineties _

_And one day, passed away, in his sleep,_

_And his wife, she stayed_

_For a couple of days and passed away_

_I'm sorry I know that's _

_A strange way to tell you _

_That I know, we belong,_

_That I know_

_That I am, I am,_

_I am, the luckiest."_

           While we're eating lunch I just sat there, listening to her.  It was as though we had fallen back into old patterns, and it felt kind of good.  I noticed a few stupid-looking frat boy types checking her out at the restaurant, and it was pretty hilarious because they'd make eye contact with me and shrink away like violets.  Idiots.  I could just see them thinking, "What's that guy doing with that chick?"  Morons.

           Just because we might not look right together doesn't mean we're not…right together, you know?  Jackie keeps talking about her newest dress and how the new school year is starting and she's going to have to really whip the cheerleading squad into shape, but I think about Mr. and Mrs. Forman, of all things.  Those two weren't exactly your cookie-cutter couple, and looked how they worked out.

           It makes me feel hopeful, if you really wanted to know how I felt.  Maybe this time I wouldn't screw things up, or visa versa.   Who knows.  I'm actually considering commitment and adhering to social conventions.  Stranger things have happened.  Maybe Jackie and I would be lucky enough to work out.

[THE END]

Thanks for reading!


	8. Epilogue: Present Perfect

Past Tense, Future Imperfect 

_by Jaded (opheliadrowning@hotmail.com)_

Disclaimer:  Not mine, baby.  

Rating: R

_Summary: Jackie and Hyde reunite after the school year start._

This is the R-rated version, but an NC-17 version is also available Kikiduck's That '70s Archive (or else just email me and I will send it.  FF.net won't allow me to link...or else I just can't figure it out).

Epilogue: Present Perfect 

He couldn't stop touching her.  She couldn't stop touching him.  On the drive to Jackie's house Hyde had to pull over three times because it got too dangerous to continue on with hormones like theirs raging inside the el Camino.

Right at that moment Jackie was pressed against the bench seat of the car, her dark, silky hair fanned out around her head, his hands tangled in the soft curls.  Hyde played at them distractedly while they kissed and groped, both of them squirming around the front seat trying to find a position that would be more comfortable.  She felt him shift his weight to the left, probably afraid that he'd crush her.  But when he moved she immediately missed the warmth of his body on top of hers.  With one hand resting against the back of his neck and the other one on his hip, she pulled him back down against her own body.  They hadn't seen each other in four days, which was four days too many by her count.  She wasn't going to let him get away that easily.

He, apparently, had no problem with that idea.  Jackie felt his mouth slide against hers, his tongue pushing gently at her lips, prying them open so he could taste her.  She complied and let out a deep moan when she felt his tongue caress the roof of her mouth.  Her breath caught in her throat, and she shuddered in the delight of his touch.

Four days, she thought faintly.  She had missed him badly.

One of her hands still rested against his hip.  It took all her will power to not let it wander any further to any places that broad daylight in the front seat of a parked car in the middle of a small town where everybody knew who they were would allow.  Or maybe she'd just let her hand make the natural progression to where it wanted to be, she thought wickedly, but the thought fled her mind when she felt his mouth, hot and wet, against the hollow of her throat in that little spot that drove her crazy and made her legs tingle and her head feel faint.  

"Steven," she whispered, her voice breathy and full of urgency, "not here.  Let's get to my house."

By this point his mouth had traveled from her mouth, to her neck, to her throat, and before he stopped, to the spot where her breasts began to curve.  She guided up with her own hands.

"You are so bad," she laughed, letting her palms linger against the firm muscles of his chest for a moment longer than needed.  He could feel his body heat through his t-shirt.  "You're killing me here, Steven."  Jackie could feel how pink her cheeks were, but she didn't care.  She smiled at him happily.

Hyde groaned and tried to give her a hard stare before it disintegrated into a look of amusement.  "I'm killing you?  What he hell do you think you're doing to me, Jackie? Aromatherapy?"  He shook his head.  He was about to re-start the car when he stopped for a second and turned back to face her.  Reaching over to her, cupping her face in his hands, he leaned in and kissed her impulsively, a sweet, warm kiss on the mouth that lasted just a second.    

It surprised her.  She had just been getting ready to flip open her compact to check her make-up when he had kissed her.  She felt a little dazed, and the compact lay forgotten on her lap.  He must have been a little surprised by it too, because as they broke away from the kiss he looked befuddled, especially with his curly hair mussed up, and rewarded her with a rare, toothy smile, his lips parted in a relaxed, gentle grin.

She saw him shake his head again and then turn the ignition key to start the car.  Jackie took the moment to let out a dreamy sigh before she tried to compose herself.  Her right hand gripped the door handle tightly and she turned her gaze out the window.  She knew if she looked at him one more time she would either melt or else jump him right there and then and they'd probably get into an accident, never mind getting to her house. 

The plan, before the three delays, was to go over to her house to pack up some things and move more permanently into the Pinciotti's house.  With Donna gone off to college and living with Eric, Bob was suffering from an extreme case of empty-nest syndrome.  He had insisted that Jackie stay on as long as she wanted, and to "bring all the girly things she wanted to into Donna's room if it made her feel more at home."  So that's what Jackie was going to do.

It was nice to live in a home where she felt wanted, where there were actually people who wanted her.  Bob seem to dote on her, lavishing her with "pretty princess" preferential treatment, something he had missed doing because Donna was such a lumberjack—her words—not his.  It was also nice to have the Formans next door, and even Mr. Forman, despite all his gruffness, seemed to genuinely care about her and her well-being. 

It made life much easier for Jackie especially now that Hyde was living and going to school in Madison.  When they had made-up and gotten back together he had managed to tweak his class schedule so that he only had classes four times a week which meant three day weekends with her in Point Place.  

They were both busy though, he with classes, her with her own workload, cheerleading practice, and fending off all the high school boys who were following her around, hopelessly in love with her.  Sometimes he'd show up a day earlier, but when Jackie realized he was probably skipping class in order to do this, she had, despite her own desires to see him, told him to quit it.  He was going to college for himself, to build on his potential, but she knew in a way he was doing it for her too, to show her that his future was important to him—a future with her.  It made her ache, how much she loved him.

Hyde got back onto the read, heading to her house, her empty mansion on the hill, and Jackie let herself relax into the passenger seat of the el Camino.  She unrolled the window and let the cool autumn air sweep across her face.  It smelled like burning leaves, hickory chips, and fresh cut hay.  

They reached her house in no time.  After all, Point Place was a small town.  They both got out of the car to head inside.

The house had basically gone to rot in the last few months.  With her father in prison and her mom off sampling the alcohol of the world, there was no one there to care for the house, or rather, no one there to pay someone to take care of the house.

Dead leaves were scattered everywhere on the front lawn, not looking like some beautiful fall scene or even like the house she had grown up in, but like a broken home.  Jackie instinctively reached out for Hyde's hand, and he, instinctively, was already there to take it.  She smiled up at him and they said nothing.

She opened the door and entered first.  He followed.  Jackie turned to lock the door, and paused a second before turning around.  Something in her heart made her afraid to look inside the house.  It was probably still as beautiful, as expensively furnished and decorated as it had always been, but it wasn't the same.  But when she turned she did not see the living room or the grand piano that sat inside next to the polished mahogany table with the brandy and expensive crystal glasses.  

What she saw instead was him, Steven Hyde.  Her boyfriend.  The person she loved most in the world, and the person in the world who loved her most.  He had taken off his sunglasses and she could see his beautiful eyes looking at her.  They were such a startling shade of blue, and she wished he showed them more often.  

In an instant she had thrown herself into his arms, her mouth dragging hungrily against his.  Her heart raced wildly, and Jackie swore he could feel it beating against his chest.  

He returned her kisses, capturing her lower lip with his mouth, sucking at it lightly.  She felt him pushing her backwards slowly, and they stopped when she felt the wall of her foyer against her back and his body.

Hyde moaned and deepened their kiss.  His left hand angled her head up and she felt his tongue darting in and out of her mouth, grazing her teeth, her tongue.  

He had such strong hands.  They were surprisingly soft, actually, with a few calluses on the pads of his hands that lended suprisingly nice sensations when he let his hands roam her body.  The first time they had made love she had kissed those same hands, those same calluses, when they had laid in bed in his apartment in Madison, exploring one another with their hands and their mouths.  

Jackie wasn't surprised that he was a good lover.  He had had tons more experience than any one in the gang had ever had, even Kelso.  Even if she hadn't known that, the expertise and quality of his kisses would've given her the same idea.  He was definitely all man.  What had surprised her was his generosity as a lover.  True, before him there had only been Kelso, and she had secretly called him "the two minute man," but she had read enough _Cosmo_ to know that most men were just looking out for number one, and that the woman more often than not had to fake it.  But with Hyde that had not been a problem so far.  It made her wonder hard at why in the year or so they were together before the break-up, they had never had sex.  

But there was no time to think about that now.  She felt his hand snaking up her back, his fingers reaching for the clasp of her bra.  He flicked at it three times with his finger before it unhooked, and Jackie almost laughed out loud.  He was way too good at that.  

She tried to shrug out of it without breaking contact with him, but it was so hard.  

"Wait a minute, Steven," she panted, pushing him away for a moment.  Jackie shimmied her arms, twisted a little bit, and within twenty seconds flat had the bra out and thrown onto the floor where it slid and hit the leg of a table that held a vase full of silk flowers.

Hyde raised an eyebrow looking a little disappointed.  "Shirt?" he said.

Jackie cocked her head at him playfully.  "Where's the mystery to that?"  He looked pained. She laughed.  "We'll get there.  Don't worry."

He groaned again, and when she looked into his eyes she saw that they had turned dark with desire.  She reached forward and captured his mouth with hers.  They broke apart.

"Oh god," he mumbled, his eyes closed shut in pain, "enough with the foreplay."  

With his strong arms she felt him lift her off her feet.  He began backing up, carrying her into the living room.  She felt him lay her down on the one-armed divan.  His arms away from her for a fleeting moment, Jackie quickly removed her shirt and threw it onto the coffee table.

"Nice," he said appreciatively.

"You too," she said, pointing at his shirt, and he complied without a word of argument.

She sighed happily again.  He had marvelous arms.  She loved them, the way the muscles defined themselves, the strong curves that gripped to his shirts and made them look like a second skin.  His eyes made him incredibly sexy.  His arms made him unbearably so.  

He leaned in and kissed her behind her ear, his tongue flicking out and tasting her skin there.  She moaned his name and bucked up against him again.  "We should do this all the time," she gasped as she felt his mouth trailing kisses down her throat.

"No argument from me," he murmured.

They made love in the living room, first slow and tenderly, then hard and fast.  Afterwards they lay there together, naked, hot, sweaty, but insanely happy and satisfied.  He reached over and brushed a strand of her dark, wet hair out of her face.  Then Hyde leaned in, stopping to look into her eyes, smiled, and then kissed her, a long, slow kiss that Jackie wished feverishly to never end.

Outside, Jackie saw, it was growing dark.  She wrapped her arms tightly around his chest.  

"I can't believe it's already Friday night," she said sadly.  "I only have you for two more days before you have to go back to school."

Hyde kissed her again tenderly.  "Think of it this way," he said.  "You still have me for two more days."  He grinned and waggled his eyebrows.

She reached out and slapped him lightly, laughing.  Then she stopped and Jackie tried to make her tone sound as serious as possible.  She bit her lip, then looked at him thoughtfully.  "How many more times do you think we can do it before Sunday night?" 

His jaw dropped open.  "Damn," he said.  "Damn.  I knew there was a reason I loved you so much."

She giggled, and he pulled her closer to him, and together they began planning ways in which to break the previous record of love-making, one they had set only the week before.

**THE END, (and I mean it this time).**


End file.
